This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-08-13 03:03:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Speak Your Truth

“I will not cry!” She said to I. “We must not lie or lest we die. “For tears to fall from eyes so small, women who crawl grown men who bawl “scrambling around until they drown, tears running down from upturned frowns. “Now honestly,” she said to me “can you not see how they will flee “when you speak truth from your past youth? Their lies uncouth reveal the spoof “that they have played from day to day keep you away and make you stay. “So do not cry!” she said to I, “and never lie or their game buy. “You  be a sleuth as a proud youth life will be smooth just speak your truth!”

Copyright © August 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 14:24:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I see your thought with this poem but the stanza with 'or their game buy' lost me in the structure. Like how each stanza rhymed on each line very difficult in getting a thought across when you do this but you were able to and this is good.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-15 17:50:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, What strikes me the most, about this poem, is your good use of mono-rhyming. I did find myself somewhat confused about who the protagonist is, but perhaps you had no intention of reaveling that idenity. I did enjoy the words, the rhyme and even flow, even though the message is a little ambiguous. Best wishes, cheyenne
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