This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-08-14 14:10:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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To Stand in Truth

I once believed there was no hope, no place to find a way to cope. With cruelties unspeakable and yet, deep inside never did we forget. Oh, how creative did we become when being threatened with a gun? Inside I split into many selves who carried the pain through all the hell.   You ask me, â€˜what inspires me so?’ Those parts inside I’ve come to know have courage and strength which they bear - more than ever I could even dare to imagine the horror they took on for me to survive this life with my sanity. I am in awe of their mighty fortitude; how can I express my immense gratitude?   “Never give up!” Their motto through time, “stand firm in the truth, in yours and in mine. Hold fast to your dreams, to thy heart be true; together we stick to pull our way through.” So simple, it seems, but hard steps to take when faced with adversity looking to break the mind and the will, the spirit and soul; darkness consumes erasing the goal.   “Stand firm in your truth; it starts with a Spark, for truth shines a light in the deepest dark.” Together they stood, and with them I’ll stand Sticking together, arm in arm, hand in hand. I know what to do to win this fight: hold fast to our dreams with all our might. With grace I will thank each part that has grown, holding them close, now we’re never alone.

Copyright © August 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-09-02 23:46:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Mandie -Powerful depth of emotions portrayed via a traumatic event that happens in life - and those feelings are so hard to work at let alone write about if the poem lends truth to the writer's life. It is stark and has a good rhyming scheme but I see a few places where if you omit words - and tighten up the poem it would stand out and allow the reader to feel more impact through each verse. Noted are your chosen words that lean towards hope, which is always available for anything in the world. you've been writing a lot this month, it's nice to be able to read your work. blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 15:59:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Just an observation...I use to do the same thing try and always rhyme when we do we sometimes lose the reader. Prose has many forms not always rhyming it is what gets across to the reader that is important and sometimes it is a thought you must let loose without any need of one reflecting on it. I feel you try to hard at times to make a verse rhyme throughout. Quantity is not what one should try to achieve but what is deep within ones thoughts and only the poet will truly understand this. I know I went on and on but I have never been known not to speak my mind. Thanks for submitting.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-17 16:11:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, This is a fine poem with a strong and successful rhyme. The meter works well and the theme, while bleak, has an uplifting ending that I savored as read and re-read your words. Well done. Best wishes cheyenne
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