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What is the soul you ask? Well this is quite a mighty task. The soul is life within the mind and yet it gives life in time We all have a soul, you see, it canâ€™t be bought or sold to me. The soul directs lifeâ€™s journey on earthen plane while weâ€™re learning. It may direct our lifeâ€™s course; but never does it do with force. Free will is always a choice; to speak we only need use our voice Without a soul we could not live; but after life our soul will give to us the next incarnation after floating round universal stations. When I was young a trick was played. â€œSoldâ€ my soul so I was made menâ€™s marionette, puppet on a string. So I might live, they could do anything. But deep inside my soul knew better and turned the trick on the bettors. Fragmented my mind a hundred times saving the soul deep in its prime. Each time they tried to damage me my soul buried even deeper you see. Until the day came when freedom was found my soul remained hidden way deep on down. So when I was young I thought I lost my soul for I had to pay the â€œcost.â€ But souls remain true to their selves no matter if they walk through hell.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-29 00:47:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, You have some great lines in this dark poem but it could use a little tightening up as in.. my soul remained hidden way deep on down...try..my soul remainded hidden deep Until the day came when freedom was found..try..until the day when freedom was found These are just examples of how to tighten the lines for you to use or lose. A nice poem that I enjoyed reading...it just needs a few adjustments. Best wishes, cheyenne
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