This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-08-17 00:17:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Wolf Eye Cry
Her bold spirit majestic
Running wild through the thick
Forest floor she prances so
Lightly in the evening’s glow
She hails the universal call
A deep and bellowing howl
Crying out to her brethren
Atop the rocky ridge of Heaven
No matter how hard I try
I can’t escape the Wolf Eye Cry
A single tear sheds for she
Is simply elegant beauty
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Copyright © August 2011 Mandie J Overocker
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-08-30 21:21:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good poem Mandie - yet I wonder if you omitted the second verse completely
if it would be complete in itself with that. Just my opinion but for me
it takes away from the best in this write. Rocky ridges in Heaven,
I'd do a quick re-write and see what you think by omitting that verse.
I've been taught the same by some great writers here- and they were always
on the money.
Enjoyable imagery,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-08-28 13:58:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
I gotta think there is an alter-ego thing going on here. The primal needs of the wolf like the unseen primal feelings of the woman.
There is the “evening glow†and the “rocky ridge of heaven†which is a little light into the soul. She, (of course we speak only of the wolf), howls with a “universal callâ€. There is the morality play at work. Morality always hopes that it does not stand alone- as does the soul.
I appreciate the poetic vision of this piece. I also do the writer.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 14:02:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Very well done and an enjoyable read..like the rhyming in this one my only suggestion is to break the last two lines out since they to not follow the rhyme of the entire piece...gives it more subtle feel if you do...thanks for sharing.
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