This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-08-17 02:00:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Bang! Bang!

All was quiet, the house was dark Animals sleeping soundly apart When all of a sudden a startling noise Cracked through my eardrums, rattling my voice I ran to the porch and looked all around Nothing was seen, nothing was found What could explain the booming big bang That jolted my heart and gave me chest pain? I searched here and there, but nothing arose Nothing made sense to disturb my repose Animals still sleeping soundly inside I laid down once more wanting to hide And as my mind wandered, my eyes falling shut Dreams drifted me away softly, gently . . . but Bang! Bang! There it was once again oh so clear What could be happening so very near? This time I laid still and just opened my eyes Watched in the dark and to my surprise Found Butterscotch, my tabby tom cat, Pulling the cupboard door open a tad Then letting it slam for one great effect His purpose was clear, food must be checked!

Copyright © August 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-09-04 10:29:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Mandie, in light of all I've read of yours this was delightful, and yet a treatise on the mind. On the one hand we see the playful cat; and the resultant equation- on the other we find ourselves in the mind of the wondering, maybe curious, maybe a little fearful- Bang Bang - and yet there is some of all of that in all of us. In my younger days the fearful might have over ridden the curious- or maybe not- maybe perspective of the moment is far more important. In this piece you catch everything in a nutshell. A well written piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-08-25 13:12:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie- having a male cat for 3yrs now made me instantly relate to this poem. Quite a clever build up - only to discover the twist at the ending of this poem. Your readers could let their imaginations run wild with thoughts of "what" was causing the disturbance. Very light piece with happy tones injected - a nice change of style and a pleasure to read as well. Blessings, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 14:10:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Really like the rhyme except in the first and fifth stanzas. Noise and voice seemed to make me stall and cat and tad brought me to a stop. Otherwise I felt the rhyming was complete and the structure well formed. Thanks for sharing...
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!