This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-09-08 00:56:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Soul Dream

my soul aches to know love the way plants reach for the sun it desires a firm foundation like the roots of an old oak tree and wants nothing more than to be seen like the beautiful full moon on a clear night   splintered from moment of birth my soul has hung in bits and pieces strewn about and all around deep within my wounded heart waiting for it all to end   no more bruises, no more scars no more lies, and no more cries no loneliness, no more duress no more battered, swollen eyes   no broken heart, no shattered dreams no more long nights filled with screams no fervent pacing or checking the latch no more looking behind my back   no more beatings, no more hits no more evading the next kicks no more rapes, no more scrapes no more hiding behind the drapes   no more needles, no more drugs no being forced to give out hugs no more playing â€œdaddy’s girl” no more pictures for the world   my soul’s been waiting for this time after all the pain is over when every part can now return and we can finally as one reach once more for our dreams

Copyright © September 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-10-01 17:57:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Mandie, I think you have endured much in your life. I hate to assume the stark feelings in this poem are true of your own life...but I believe it is. Even though the lines are limned with pain in the end I feel the sun beginning to shine on you and that is a happy thing. Memories you leave behind can be laid to rest. A remarkable poem. Brovo! Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-10-01 17:35:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie, First we must know of love, [to know what your crying for] then you want someone to love lastly you strive to live love. We all ache to live love and this is possible daily for everyone. It is the ultimate! There is nothing to stop us. It isn't a time to come, it is today you can have it all! Good expressive job. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-09-27 10:18:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The comparison to growing, and the tree- that requires a strong root hold to survive is well said. Not all of the hopes and desires associated with love are as reputable as they are represented, but aside from the pitfalls, I too would take the opportunity even if the ending was less than desirable. I recall the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks, and his lines; And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance You long list of "no mores" is as telling as your consummation with hope and dreams. It would be stimulating to sit and speak with you for hours, just listening and asking questions. As unlikely as all that is- we have your verse to reveal the woman. I will say sometimes, I hope to hear the other woman- the lover, the romantic, behind the scenes that issues the sentiments of hope. Sometimes I wonder where she is.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2011-09-09 01:40:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mandie, This is a refreshment to one's tired soul. It's nice to feel when we realize that we are already free from worries and anxieties, when the pain is over and all we got to do is dream. I like the simile being used especially in the first stanza. You have some rhymes applied so I am wondering if you could observe the rhyming all throughout the poem. Overall, a nice read. Thanks for sharing! Jordan
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