This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-09-08 01:02:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © September 2011 Mandie J Overocker
I know not what I know -
for in every thought
is a thousand thoughts
spiraling into one
moment in time.
chasms of space,
of life in a world
far from home.
assaulting the senses
a thousand thoughts
in every thought -
I know not what I know.
Prompt was to read the following poem:
Clarity by Anna Piutti
Was I thinking so loudly?
A heart absorbs the absurd
on a regular basis.
Primordial fears and poisoned
but fragrant whispers from
your skin are
And I see,
and I laugh:
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-10-01 17:48:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
You have done a great job in writing with the same thoughts as Anna. You used your own words but the same theme which is a gift. Your phrasing is good and the flow even. I like your word choices as they express your feeligs well. Good job!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-09-27 10:23:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie, there is a remarkable insight in this piece. The very fact that â€œI know not what I knowâ€ reclaims the innocence of that knowledge.
Where the writers thoughts â€œspiral in to one moment in timeâ€ is akin the the birth of a child and the first thoughts, or the last thoughts before transitioning into eternity. Both as precious as such can be.
I have often spent time in â€œchasms of spaceâ€ and as that world remands me to stay, the activity becomes its own undoing, or if you will, justification. â€œFragmentsâ€ I like that you used that word- a harsher term would not have carried the â€œblossomingâ€.
This is a very astute piece. It is one where pondering actually makes the poem itself, itself.
A very fine piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-09-13 14:53:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Doubtful that any of us will ever know everything in life because of the
vast amount of things to know, learn and do with the short amount of time
This is a thought provoking poem Mandie - and the structure
and style are on spot.
Thank you for posting the note along with this poem it lends
the reader the purpose for the write and you have done a wonderful
job of interjecting your personal touches through out this
I really enjoyed this a lot.
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