This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-10-08 17:40:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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When depression cuts deep and shadows dark refuse to abate minds turn to deeds of harm Like razors cutting crimson with whistles of salt that sting raw nerves held together by ever fraying thread Recall the ivory and amber dreams that gives solace to the soul A spirit once endowed with wings flounders now When tightly wound knots of pain seek to sunder you let dawn’s light sweep past tears that slump on stained cheeks Lift the fallen  who silent echoes screech

Copyright © October 2011 cheyenne smyth

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-10-29 18:30:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Cheyenne, You can certainly turn a phrase, so to speak! You can show real depression. screeching in silence is an interesting thought. We do that a lot it seems. Your cup needs filling ever so often. Music helps me. good job... Best wishes dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2011-10-18 01:01:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is a poet's poem most definitely. What is it about us that brings out such depressive moods. Perhaps it's the creativity burning within. This is a piercing poem, and although its subject matter is less than happy, it captures a very important time, a most deserving place to be remembered, and a pain that is quite real for many. I find it therapeutic to not only write about a depressive state but to also read about one. I like how these words flow simply and with brevity. The rhythm of the poem helps to carry the meaning and the words. You can almost get a visual, and you are not afraid. You understand, sympathize, and feel the moment you capture as a writer, and it's a bold moment, a telling one. You use some good words and phrases like cutting deep and shadows dark to set the mood and tone of the poem. You bring the reader into that atmosphere; you give them a surreal glimpse of a sad and painful moment, a place that's very real for many. You give explanation to often what seems unexplainable. I'm sure that many would agree about how well you capture the depths to which one can descend when depression surfaces. Good job.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-10-15 12:09:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
I hope this is observational and not a common theme. Your ending, as I have learned long ago, the sun rising usually issues some respite. One finds out there is another day- those who embrace it "in spite" can break or partially break the spell, those who seal it out of their hearts, find it harder. Throughout the poem, you bring the properties of despair in graphic, experiencial description. I particularly like "the ivory" of "amber dreams". Somehow, within the soul- colors exact a visceral theme. This was a heartfelt medium for the heart weary. It was an accurate image that reminds us all of, those times.
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