This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-11-21 19:54:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Dreams Do Come True

Twirling round and around A dream is what I have found   In your arms as we dance Grateful for this second chance Feeling your fingers stroking my hair As into your eyes I longingly stare   We look to the sky, clouds reflect in our eyes Whimsical characters in fluffy disguise Side by side, hand in hand, eyes meet and then smile Peering up at cotton animals as we laugh for a while   Warm breath in my ear, whisper so soft As the wind tosses colored foliage aloft Swirling round and around Sweet loving kiss brings me to ground   Shared laughter and smiles join us together Our love will withstand any kind of weather Through sun and through rain You have comforted pain   With a smile, a laugh, and love in your heart From you I never again will depart

Copyright © November 2011 Mandie J Overocker

Additional Notes:
Great contest Pumpkin Spice...loved the challenge! The contest was to be inspired by a random poem by another contest poet selected by the contest host who assigned us a name and number upon entry to the contest. We were then to go to that poet's poem list and read the assigned number poem, in my case my number was 7, so i read the seventh poem. We were to rewrite/be inspired to write a new poem based on what we read. This was my response... I hope I have done justice to Ive Ana's poem Smile and Laugh....and not disappointed.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-12-07 10:30:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie, this is the third poem this month that has cloud images in it. Do you think there is a seasonal image that is pervasive and inspiring? Your line “shared laughter and smiles” is remarkable in light of the “whispers” and “colored foliage”. I see the response to “comforted pain” remains a part of the theme, yet I gloss over it. The theme you have written, that comforting is taken as a given, given the character of the writer. There is always room for an upbeat, smile or a glint of laughter. The high from the low makes the moment a “kiss” by its very existence. A very encouraging piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-11-23 17:53:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, You have penned a lovely poem. It is quite uplifting and a change from the sad poems you need to write that are a catharsis for you. You have made successful word choices and your rhyming couplets are lyrical. Well done! Best wishes, cheyenne
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