This Poem was Submitted By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-12-10 12:55:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Bleeding Sheep

Where with all she has the power To diminish all as if God were in her dower Plainly put forth she’ll never say That, â€œI was the one who did the wrong today.” No, â€œsorry” was never on her tongue My pride was put aside or wiped up with the dog’s dung. In fact she’ll never read this, my heart, She’s more concerned about her first fart. Oh the day when I fail or slip away Beneath her stress driven worries or her shrew way, I’ll dance my way to hell on bare feet Only if I don’t have to hear her bleat.

Copyright © December 2011 David Keesey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-12-24 17:32:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
David, This sounds like a bad day in the barnyard! I hope it turns to better for the holidays. I know at times I wish another would shut the .... up. I even bought a glass cup reading Have a big cup of shut the .... up! Your poem teeters me on the edge. Speak up or shut up. Speaking up can prove to be my downfall. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-12-13 23:38:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Well, someone definitely turned your bowl of cornflakes upside down didn't she? The start of this poem is clearly someone who thought she was a "Goddess" in life breaking hearts along the way. Next you interject humor in a ladies most insulting way which makes it lighthearted in the midst of expressing how her character has been less than and you want her to know this but she will never know because she doesn't have the mind to feel remorse for her actions. Clever poem -really enjoyed this, blessings, Deni
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