This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-12-11 22:19:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Hollow Acrimony

A mother you were by adoption alone woman who was barren with a heart of stone You cut me down with your powerful bare hands ensuring there was no escape from family land I, your scared rosebud, blood poured from my heart, became your slave not knowing where to start to tell the story of how I would escape from becoming another of your victims on tape. Flummoxed by the resulting opprobrium of your choice  to shadow a bleeding rosebud, with no hint in your voice. So up went my guard I must confess to protect the rosebud inside from duress. Had I known you weren’t able to care, I never would have looked for you there. But you carried on as though you believed that love was all the rosebud would need. Without nurturing care and loving attention the rosebud soon wilted, lost her intention to fight for her freedom and seek the sun her life hardly started, felt over and done. Frozen and cold the rosebud lie waiting the sun to arise, fear to start abating. Along came a gardener with water in tow fresh soil and nutrients to help her grow. Fourteen years later the gardener still waits for the rosebud to learn not everyone hates Like you, mother, did, pretending to care left my heart bleeding, stripped naked and bare.

Copyright © December 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-12-21 01:21:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Most def dark writing Mandie and it makes me think of that movie about Joan Crawford "Mommy Dearest", where she was portrayed a monster of a Mother on the inside yet her fans were never informed of what dysfunction went on inside of her famous abode. Strong in emotions of abuse, unwanted and all so unnecessary - I enjoyed this write - it makes me shiver and realize how much abuse this world is full of - not only to innocent children but to all sorts of people in life - good write, blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kay C Steward On Date: 2011-12-13 23:38:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I thought that you wrote this poem from your heart; good imagery and the subject was a place that not many go and talk about it as you have. This is a good quatrain with a solid rhyming and nothing to change in my opinion. Bitter sweet words of a loveless mother and a poem that touches the heart. Blessings, Kay.
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