This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-12-12 19:01:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Finding Me

I’m walking away no looking back, I won’t sway no turning around I’m choosing the me I have found finally…   So many years of lies trapped in perfection’s disguise no more I say, no more will I stay enslaved…   Your words echo in my head that I’d be better off dead ricocheting like a rubber ball just waiting for me to fall victim…   I’m finally realizing what you’ve been hiding all this time, all along that Mommy, you were wrong perpetrator…   Just like the others but you also smothered when you were present abandoned when you weren’t - absent…   I became lost in your pain I tried everything to change But nothing sufficed rejection was your vice completely…   No longer will I stand chained to your hand we are breaking free seeking for myself and me safety…   So I’m walking away no looking back, I won’t sway No turning around I’m choosing the me I have found finally.

Copyright © December 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2011-12-27 11:39:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Very powerful! I felt as if I completely understood your pain, frustration and courage as you decided to love yourself in spite of what you were told and to finally find a way to be comfortable in your own skin. I think many people will be able to identify with what you are saying, and find parts that echo their own truth. Thank you for sharing. I liked it very much!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kay C Steward On Date: 2011-12-17 00:22:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I liked your deep and meaningful poem about choosing a new you and a new road to walk. I have one suggestion (with respect) "Just like the others you smothered when you were present. Abandoned in your presence." Apart from that. Well done. Blessings, Kay.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-12-16 13:30:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mandie there is in me the desire to take each of your words, your lines and write to the subject that is as heartrending at times as the freedom is free. But, I won’t. The thought of “breaking free” is enough for the entire piece. There is an allusion within the piece that belies the message. It is as if the very existence of the declaration makes it all moot. That within the plea, the decision, is so much a frenetic image the one cannot but feel that should your mother truly reach out; the turnaround and desire for her love would make the declaration into a hidden cry for next time. I don’t know if there was a metaphor for desiring love, within the piece, or if the piece just wrote itself. For me, looking in on the moment; I’m left with the child waiting patiently for Santa Clause to come down the chimney, and then the adult who knows it won’t happen, but can’t help but look expectantly to the season. A very passionate piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-12-13 23:43:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Strong in character, and seeing the light. This is a wonderful poem that clearly has a message for not only us here at TPL but for the world to read and appreciate. No one should ever feel less than or have their self-esteem trashed by others. Very much enjoyed the whole poem and have no suggestions to better what you have written. Kudos Mandie, & blessings, Deni
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