This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-12-16 17:25:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Saving Your Intentions

  Let me tell you about living on the razor’s edge of truth… drowning in an ocean of lies spun in your youth by parents who failed to protect you, fearing for cryptomnesia is about to tear through your consciousness where hidden secrets are carried in the whispers of the wind with regrets turning every night into a sick game where even in your abditory you feel you will ne’er escape the clutches of the evil lair.   Wrapped up tight in your bivouac freezing cold, feeling reality smack you in the face. A sudden metanoia finally releases you from your paranoia sitting on a rock, huddled by the fire it hits you square, a burning desire, to break free from the lies and reclaim the truth that your life was not a shame - never again will you feel the same. .

Copyright © December 2011 Mandie J Overocker

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-12-21 01:27:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I see the past is still stalking your present and I am glad you are writing about it - it all has to go - and be vented out in written form - yet I wonder where we as people can realize that it can never be changed - the scars are forever - yet somewhere in time we have to let it go in order to move on - it's a struggle of emotions but it doesn't have to be your forever - I pray for peace of mind as I do for everyone - and those that live to scar others never know the full damage they have done - and most likely move on without any remorse. blessings, Deni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kay C Steward On Date: 2011-12-17 00:27:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well thought out and I thought it was a strong poem with a strong subject. I felt that you wrote this from your heart and it shows. I just felt (with respect) the last two lines stumbled...The truth that your like was not a 'sham' instead of shame - hard to make the last line rhyme? Well done, blessings, Kay.
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