This Poem was Submitted By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2011-12-31 11:44:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Newness of You

Surprising Sensual Exhilarating I hope you feel it too Entice me with your openness I like the newness of you Persuasive Refreshing Expressive At ease, not feeling blue So long since I felt this comfortable I enjoy the newness of you Feeling loose and free When you share with me The funny, the mundane and true Since I met you I just can't stop smiling Beguiling The newness of you Passionate Playful Abandon Soft kiss from the lover of blue I long to peel back your layers Craving the newness of you Sexy Soulful Soliloquy Shared your heart at the start All of you An incredible connection from inception I love the newness of you

Copyright © December 2011 Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-07 11:00:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Thank you very much for this fun, sensual, exciting piece. I have come to find my visits here heavy and draining (though it is not the craft, rather the need for another side of the human condition). We need more of this. Let me say “connection from inception” is a brilliant phrase. Your assonance and alliteration throughout the piece works like invisible rhymes to add continuity. This piece is just plain fun and uplifting, loving and sexual- in good taste with the bawdy just beneath the surface. I dare say should you drop “heart at the start” out and rewrite that line to be less “common” this would be a perfect piece. It is so invigorating for me that I will probably spend time writing. I don’t know if I can be as subtle and yet exacting as your piece, but you inspire me to resubmit the fun and sensual pieces with the hope that those here again will find the sweetness of the moment. Thanks for my moment.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-12-31 16:04:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kimberly, Good ideas, here's a few different thoughts. Hopefully you don't mind. Feeling loose and free When you share with me The funny, the mundane and true Since [we've] met I just can't stop smiling you aren't repeating 'you' Beguiling [is] the newness of you Passionate Playful Abandon Soft kiss from the lover of blue could do better than [blue] needs different I long to peel back your layers Craving the newness of you Sexy Soulful Soliloquy [tongue tying] Shared your heart at the start All of you something better needed An incredible connection from inception tongue tying and maybe split it up with above line? I love the newness of you I'm a bit jealous of your wonderful new beau. Dellena
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