This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-01-09 18:19:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Seek Escape In real life dreams snicker away
without a backward glance
as time unfolds, once flown it’s gone
to where the nightmares dwell
But moonbeams light the shades of night
and slightly stirs the dawn
with silky silence bound in lace
that spill on shadow’s drape
The dreams will gather up the hurts
cast them to morning’s sun
where forever weaves passion’s reign
So dream and seek escape
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Copyright © January 2012 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-02-07 14:26:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
I think you don't know........ that the ' apostrophe's have to be replaced when you submit
a piece off microsoft word. Otherwise it looks as above. I believe that's the problem.
and yet I just tested it on a word and it showed right. Hmmmmmmm what's the deal?
Your poem is good. If you figure this out it will be good too.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-02-06 09:36:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You produce such a contrast, a problem, and a cure. It is layed out in a yellow brick road type solution. Dream, when they turn dark or lost, look for the light, and let the dreams reaken the good for your soul.
Of it, -snicker away- is probably my favorite phrase in the piece. I also appreciate that dreasm have –flown- and that without them –nightmares- will impress.
One of the things in this verse that is a fascinating and original thought is the true dreams –gather up the hurts- and yet when you speak it you don’t contrast what is real from what is not. That in the consequence of living; the two are synonomous and stand in for each other.
An encouraging piece cheyenne, with unique views and vivid description.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-02-05 23:52:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Cheyenne
Now there's one that speaks to the wound in us all :-) Makes me want to reach for my opium pipe and check out for once and for all.
It does hit precisely on a raw nerve...at least for me, at least today. The word "snicker" grated a little, however, even though it gives the sense of dreams mocking us as they vanish ... so I know what you mean.
Best wishes,
Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2012-01-12 08:53:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Beautiful Cheyenne -
Almost song like - with hope, inspiration and imagination of what can be in life once we free our minds and take time to appreciate our lives.
Love the first stanza where you say "In real life dreams snicker away without a backward glance..." - These words are just not poetic words but true words of having dreams that never materialize. For certain when they've disintegrated it's much like they've flown away never to be thought of or dreamed of again.
We let loose of those dreams -but have the ability to dream again -
Amazing poem - with so much in it - truly written from the heart of a gentle spirit who knows how to live beyond reality and use imagination to inspire others.
Well done,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2012-01-10 00:48:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
Interesting. I had to read this one several times to really find my way.
Still thinking about it - almost think one more stanza is missing between the 2nd and 3rd one.
The intermittent rhyming sort of threw me off. I like the imagery in the last portion, talking about dreams gathering up the hurts - I think of a dream being sort of like a large colorful cloth that helps to absorb and wash away the hurtful residue of the day.
Thanks for sharing.
Kim
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