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Wishing Wish I didn't look forward to talking with you Makes it harder when you say nothing I want to hear Wish the answers didn't make me feel so blue Makes it harder to say you don't mean anything to me Wish I thought real happiness even knew my name Makes it harder for me to be hopeful for the future Wish I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of shame Makes it harder to think that I deserve a happy ending Wish I could forget all about those empty wasted tears Makes it harder to confront the sting of constant anger Wish I didn't feel like all I do is live in lonely fear Makes it harder to find the peace and solace I am needing Wish I just didn't crave your velvet touch or kiss Makes it harder to clearly figure out the right path I should take Wish it wasn't so hard to deny all that I really miss Makes it harder to trust and my instinct will prove false Wish I had the self control to design my own reality but I know now that my wish isn't going to come true Finding ways to be sane in my universal insanity Wanting all, having nothing But the space beyond my view I'm wishing for all, and also wishing just for you. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-02-06 00:13:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Kimberley
The heartache is all too evident in this one. Who hasn't felt this?
I particularly liked your variations in the last three stanzas. The contrast was nicely set up by the pattern you established through the first eight stanzas...which were a kind of left/right/left/right trudging through emotions that represent the last things on earth you would really want to be feeling.
Best wishes,
Mark.