This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-01-14 04:50:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Upon Rocks

Destiny is a river, meant indelibly, like blood to the heart                                     invariably Seemingly shaping but always coursing the same...a place to go                                       unchanging A roar coming near, short horizon closer, edging to a drop While a momentary wish so frail in time to stop                                       descent to rocks

Copyright © January 2012 James C. Horak

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-02-01 19:48:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello James, Excellent, nice Zen feel to this one. Reminded me of "on this rock I shall build my church" yet it dances so far beyond such a simple casual statement. In the fini' things will be what they were meant to be regardless of the journey on the river ie: it is not the destination but the journey that is important. I very much enjoyed this and am still pondering your words. Awe, now see there is a sign of an accomplished poet--your words haunt the mind and your song will not be easily put aside. Bravo, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-02-01 14:04:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, You sound momentarily fragile in this piece. Descent to the rocky filled abyss. Life is not boring for sure. As low is as high as we go. That is good, that is bad. i dare say, you are not often a middle roader.... Very emotion filled poem. But subtle. I like it. Y our friend of course, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-01-21 01:35:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, This is a thought provoking poem and one I find profound and compelling as I have read it several times. Your word choices are expressive, evocative and your phrasing is impeccable. The river can be a meataphor for so many things, like life as we wend our way to the end. But then the river remains the same as it meanders out of sight. You have penned good alliteration and the message is one I must ponder. Glad to see you posting again. Best wishes, cheynne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-01-18 17:05:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH, Deftly done. I especially like the repetition in the "ly" sounds in the opening stanza, gives me the sense of the swirling, moving water of a river. I'm sure there are other subtle effects that move me to the overall impression. Nice. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2012-01-15 10:31:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
James, This is an interesting poem. I like the flow and rhythm. Not sure I necessarily agree about destiny being indelible, yet I can see that the change people make for their own destiny might have been destined in the first place! I like the visual of the flow of the river, and I see the water moving closer to the edge before tumbling over the side and crashing upon the rocks. I think of the crash onto the rocks as the inevitable end that will come regardless of the best laid plans. Thank you for this thought provoking piece. Kim
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-14 21:13:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
My reflex reaction to this is to look for the presumption of judgement- or maybe decide whether erosion and time share a platform. It occurred to me that there is no personification of the “rocks” as either good or evil, they just are- and are there at the end- and at the beginning- It is the “wish” that throws me; or maybe it is the greater metaphor for whatever strivings and desire people might have while be sped along by both time and destiny. I think, in announcing my attention to the details that once on shoal- the horizon still remains distant; I think- or would we really know? A very nice piece.
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