This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-01-18 17:17:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Carving Words

Collecting driftwood from the silent shore You carve your words in every cut with care Beyond the thoughts that shake my very core Between nowhere and everywhere I dare To steal your heart from those who sunder me When all the songs we sing a poem springs I’ll read aloud a verse that sets you free Untie the thread around your heart with strings I’ll take your quill but never will try to Erase my love from its soft resting place Where I can hold your hand and cherish you Then brush your brow and kiss your handsome face I’m not bewildered by your words today So carve upon my soul an ode I pray

Copyright © January 2012 cheyenne smyth

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-24 09:01:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
cheyenne- the thoughts of carving, of creating images that reflect the soul by engraving them permanently is quite like the memories this responds to. That poetry –springs- is as lasting as the –ode- written on the soul. In a brief glimpse of my response to this piece; over the month I slowly read the poetry here many times. It is why my critiques come at the end of the month (for the most part). A portion of that review of verse is that I always read and try to punctuate the piece aurally. The easier it rolls off the tongue or can be emphasized, the greater my appreciation for the piece. You might say it –carves- itself into my sensibilities. You also have the carving on –driftwood- anecdotal to my reading of this is my son’s driftwood log that he has had since he was four years old. It is probably his prized possession. This piece carries a much greater metaphor for inspiration, recall and receiving the best from another. It makes its point.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-01-21 13:58:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
cheyenne, Collecting driftwood from the silent shore You carve your words in every cut with care Beyond the thoughts that shake my [the] very core Between nowhere and everywhere I[to] dare To steal your heart from those who sunder [I hate sunder] me [try to get out of the poem] When all the songs we sing a poem springs I’ll [to or we'll] read aloud a verse that sets you [one] free Untie the thread around your heart with strings I’ll [shall] take your quill but never will try to [I'd put to on next line] Erase my love from its soft[don't need nor want] resting place Where I [one] can hold your hand and cherish you Then brush your brow and kiss your handsome [use a better word] face I’m [whose]not bewildered by your [the] words today [you say] So carve upon my [the] soul an ode I pray Anyway I went a bit wild and probably shouldn't but it seemed to cry for help. I most always love your every word but this one failed me. I wished it didn't. darn, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2012-01-19 23:20:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Cheyenne, Beautifully done. This one seems to ebb and flow sweetly. I like the images of action throughout the piece, erasing, brush, kiss... I can almost picture the scene and the writers love, admiration, fascination for the subject. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. Kim
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!