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Under Your Spell (with correction) Each time we meet though we don’t speak I read your body, see the heat in your eyes Oh yes, I feel the pulse smoldering just— as those jazzy blues begin to growl As you move closer I know it isn’t easy giving up your heart your wanting more yet, before I fall under your spell Stop—I need to say I can’t be your one and only I can’t be the one whose name you breathe as if a prayer I’m not the one for all time No, no, I’m not the one for you I feel the fire when you brush my hand with yours Yes—you are wanting more than I can give. You’d be oh so easy to touch, to breath, to taste, I tremble, anticipation, your breath searing my thoughts to late to retreat Stop—I need to say baby, I not your one and only, not the one who’ll be there till the end of time, but if you still want to dance, then tonight we will— |
Additional Notes:
Just needed to drop one word.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-03-01 18:25:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Lora
Your poems this month move from twinkle-eyed grandma to hormone-ravaged teenager...quite a range :-)
I like the immediacy of this. Everyone knows the deal here...
...and the destination.
Best wishes,
Mark.