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This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-02-14 23:04:28 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Painter’s Society

Apples are falling not far—their voices unchanged Old Walrus’ sit snorting under breath, archaic whispers Young bull’s hot breathe rushes cross a nation, freezing minds in manipulation a great roar of promises we will take care of you house you, feed you, teach your children the power of the rug, of one voice one tax, one rule, one coin of equal and the same Go back to sleep, hush— as the ringmaster uses slight of hand a new social society reigns without Stalin your house is painted

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-03-04 19:43:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Lora [Before the poem, a question: would you consider using a different font for your poems ... Times New Roman or Goudy Old Style, perhaps? It will add more "weight" :-) ] ...and this IS a weighty poem. It has echoes of the Lord of the Rings to it ... One Ring to rule them all. I was going to offer my read on what this could be referring to, but what's the point? It covers a multitude of sins, and strongly. Best wishes, Mark.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-02-25 18:36:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, This says it how it is. I know Hitler was no more than a silver tongued patsy for the NWO. I'm not too knowledgeable of Stalin. But why do you suppose they want soooo much control? To abuse you, use you, and be rid of you at their whim. And who doesn't want a caring concerning father figure to keep us safe from harm? It is gagging. Democracy is no different than communism. We are a Republic! How easily the word Democracy popped up out of the blue. It sounds good. Loved your perfect examples. One rug, your house painted. [also tainted!] Wado Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-02-25 11:51:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, I am very fond of this. The first two lines strike a wonderful opening: beautiful detail of the apples falling "not far," and the ambiguous syntax gives the "their" attribution to both the apples and the Walrus' - the idea of falling apples having "voices" is even more delicious than the incredibly delicious "not far." The second stanza is fine, ending with the loaded "we will take care of you." The third stanza is superb. Your wonderful handling of a triple pattern of parallel structuring in the first and third lines ends gloriously on "of equal and the same." The last stanza is the weakest - though I love the first line - and I was disappointed in the last line particularly, even though you made it critical to the poem and the title. One that will be very high on my list. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-02-19 12:19:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora a wonderful allegory. It could be interpreted by me, but that would be the same as everyone trying to interpret Lennon’s, I Am the Walrus, which he screwed up- he meant I am the carpenter- since the carpenter was the hero and yet I am led to speak, of the Walrus (Stalin) and the abuse of millions that came as a relative exertion of Marx and Engels's Communist Manifesto. Even now Putin warns America is hurtling towards communism at an amazing rate, and yet the populace is kept in the dark. Of your piece, I adored the –go to sleep, hush- that exemplifies the attitude of those deceivers, and then –ringmaster’s slight of hand- In a more absorbable fashion than most- you bring the alarm for all. A very very nice piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-02-16 17:57:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Lora, A political poem and one I enjoyed reading. It is true the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....I guess all politicians are alike. You have chosen explicit words to express yourself and each line is well crafted. They promise so much to get elected but who in their right mind would want that job? An exceptional poem....Bravo! Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-02-15 13:41:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
ooooo I love to read deep stuff like this! The solumn ending leaves me breathless as I struggle to find it all. Wow. You got me, poet! This is neat stuff! Young bull’s hot breathe rushes cross a nation,>>this is the only line that left me struggling. I didnt really piece it in until I got to the ending. And then it hit me! The line reads a bit rugged, but it does make its point! I'm sorry I have nothing to offer for suggestions. Sometimes, they just arent necessary. This piece is awesome as it is. ~smiles~ Ellen

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