This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-02-26 00:55:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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full revolution

new moon coming up wishing away the evening until a dreamy darkness becomes a blissfull  morning. sun splatter on the floor here little feet still dance a nursery rhyme, a happy tune becomes a glorious  afternoon. a long pause  signals an arrival all of life responds now gathering together, preparing evening. the earth stops her pulsing relaxes her panting waiting for the golden moment when day finds its fulfillment twilight. full moon settles down an old woman closes her eyes memories flood this place watering the family tree dawn.

Copyright © February 2012 Ellen K Lewis

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-03-06 14:51:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen, This has a good feel to it. I feel the rhythm of life pulsing through it. I especially like the last stanza, of the old woman. It's all a day after another day moving through existence. Very nice Ellen. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-03-03 11:43:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
Hi Ellen, You have penned an en equisite poem and one I enjoyed reading several times. You have chosen expressive words that speaks of the passing of time. It is clever and evocative. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-03-03 11:28:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ellen, there is a fullness in this piece, of both the youthfulness and the wisdom, the promise and the wisdom tempering the loneliness. A lonely woman watches the moon and sky waiting for the warmth of a new day and promises. It is a scene of triumph as well as loneliness. The day passes and –life- (the day) prepares for the daily passage into night, where day awaits again. One sees the night holding the reflection of the truth of day. There is the diffidence, the making love, the promise of realization that day again will warm the soul, of the beauty of darkness and the companionship found in moon, sky and stars. In the end, a resolution of work done and still the implications of all that is. –Memories- so explicit and implicit all at once. Always there remains the warmth of promise. I always enjoy looking into the resoluteness of another. It is viewed here, and –dawn-
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-03-02 21:14:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Ellen, This has a wonderful rhythm if read aloud, which is exactly how I approached it. A really fine poem. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-03-01 08:51:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Ellen this poem was such a balm to the spirit. Excellent word choices coupled with spot on placement made this a delight to read. Your verses flow easily down the page. I enjoyed your descriptions of how the day transitions through its journey. One small suggestion would be: changing the word "becomes" to "becoming" would bring in more in line with the rest of your tenses and also makes it active instead of passive. I'm so glad you posted this, thank you for the enjoyable read. Lora
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