This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-03-09 15:07:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Taken (in between)

To know the hopes dashed   upon altars of myth Where fragrance flees   from spilled wine like Candle flame in wind We have joined together   too somberly  but to crash so ignobly The ceremony of words   laughing pages...again Like the candle flame                in wind You and I were more   but less together To be astute then...   would it have mattered? The times I have thought   to press my cheek to yours That all intimacy might not   be the same sham Enduring no more than   frilly things in wind. 

Copyright © March 2012 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
Dedicated to my young friend yet to obtain that wisdom gained can be more consoling than loss. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-04-07 21:35:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
I appreciate the -the wind- repetitiveness throughout the verse. Of the continuance of like passions- as viewed retrospectively to the formative days; I have much experience and would prefer not to languish in the thought. That love itself is tasked with that task, while life is given a free pass is much the same. The wind, it is analogy at its best. It is not lost within the concept of the verse that many, including myself, will honor the wind in dance; whether that same breeze has brought warmth or calamity.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-04-06 23:49:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, There are those who baptize with water, and those who baptize with fire. And they know the other, and each other. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-03-30 16:14:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, A melancholy look at what was and could have been. The sham of some loves that tear at the soul. The flame in the wind that can easily blow out. The idea of what we want love to be doesn't or rarely does, fit the plan of mind. Most wanting to marry people wed at their right time instead of wedding the right one when or if he comes. Then no one is paired up to the right one. you have to find one you cannot, will not live without no matter what! That rarely happens. I went on a bit... And so we live alone. until. but it's only too late when we die. Just hang on for the ride. You are a remarkable man. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-03-12 14:48:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi JCH, You have penned a beautiful poem for your young friend. The loss of a lover or mate can be devastating no matter what the age. However, as we mature we handle such things better and learn not to wear our hearts on our sleeves. You have chosen eloquent words to express yourself, the flow is smooth and allows the lines to slide down the page with ease. We can't help who we fall in love with but we can learn how and when to let them go. Well done. Best wishes, cheyennne
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