This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-04-07 08:58:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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New York

                                                   your wind tunnel maze, your teats and teeming children,                                                    your smell of pretzels, your wheels of commotion,                                                    your angels in the wilderness, your black-hatted rabbis,                                                    your wide berths where money turns into lights,                                                     your narrow corridors of rats and knife blades,                                                    your bookstalls, your culture, your temperature shock,                                                    your leisure in the absence of lawns and landscaping,                                                    your seasons with their tokens, the world as a set,                                                    your mother-daughter shopping, your racing forms and stubble,                                                    your museums with their air of significance,                                                    your skyline vacuumed by governments, your Gargoyles                                                             waiting for the Apocalypse,                                                    which will debut here, if and when it comes. 

Copyright © April 2012 Mark Steven Scheffer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-04-29 14:21:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, Is New York like China? I've been to NY. It has it's charm. I love Central Park that helps a lot. I think we'll be living in little holes in the wall and not much else. We are the slaves and thought us naught. ha! I liked your form. Your........ only asking one long question. Could end with a question mark, Mark. Have a good day young fellow. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-04-12 15:06:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I have never been to NY but now I feel like I know what it would feel like. Its awesome that you have put together such a work that a person can imagine that. That would be a great challenge for me, and I am sure many others would agree. >>>where money turns into lights, thats a thought! your mother-daughter shopping, >>really? does that still happen? (lol) your racing forms and stubble,>> I'm not sure if I got this your Gargoyles waiting for the Apocalypse, >>>awesome picture, I like that line! I like this piece alot. You've got me wondering how I might describe my own city. ~smile~ Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-04-11 13:36:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Awed, been there too. We, in fact, need an "Awed by NYC" tee shirt along with appointment books, nodoz, and an escort to prod us on to the next engagement (from just falling into gapeing mode.) These cities that never sleep and New York is the best. About the only topic where a redundant style truly fits, where refrain can carry so well from line to line instead of at the end of each verse...says it all really. Got into this, Mark, like I did the "town". JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-04-10 12:25:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I truly like the feel and sense of this work... so alive, even if were to teem in darkness yet it is just there alive, raw, real and with all it offers -- why wouldn't the Apocalypse debut there... seems most fitting. This will take me several more reads to grasp the depths of your words however I know it will be well worth the investment. Thank you for the opportunuity to review this fine work. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-04-09 16:03:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Mark, Last year I visited New York and what you have written here holds some truth. Some parts of that huge city delighted me and some disgusted me. Your repetition of 'your' is effective and gives me a clear mind picture of each scene. You have penned good 't' sounds in your first line and the flow is smooth. You have painted New York with negative brush but there is also much there to be savored. Just my humble opinion. Best wishes, cheyenne
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