This Poem was Submitted By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-04-09 17:51:55 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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white flag up I am sick and tired of hearing
the prophets of doom
looming on the horizon
pointing
carrying their signs and banners
they wave frantically
and insist that I believe it.
Faith
When the Father of Jesus redeems
His people will have joy
or fear....they watch, waiting
listening and believing
doom.
When man faces man
and neither understands
but both have their reasons
to fight for the God they know.
war.
When the ying meets yang
and the circle is no longer broken
when the Mother reunites all children
and the One rules in Heaven
Man lays down his weapons
then I will believe
trust.
When all we know is within us
and never, ever without us
there will be much joy and laughter
in a place where time doesnt exist
and space knows no boundary
but holds us warmly
Love.
I will be ready come what may
but there is no way to prepare
for when that day is here
we will all meet the same
God. |
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Copyright © April 2012 Ellen K Lewis
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-05-02 13:03:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Ellen,
The Bible thumping pastors do more harm than good...in my humble opinion. I go to church and am a Christian but if a sermon is no more than a scare tactic or guilt trip that I can do without. You have made some good points in this poem, it is creative and evocative. Your last verse is especially powerful and delivers an important message. Well done!
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2012-04-18 11:57:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello Ellen, I just wrote you and sent you some poems but all came back. Perhaps you could email me and then I can write you. ryeminsimon@hotmail.com
Now your poem, yes yes yes!!! VERY WELL DONE. I hate to just give a fluffy critique that doesn't offer much in suggestions but this poem reads well, first verse strong enough to pull me in. I have had a very difficult time pasting poems into the entry box. Some lines are missing and then some words and usually at the beginning of a sentence, it was so frustrating I just typed it in word by word and man was that frustrating. Has this happened to you too? I only ask because I thought you might be having the same problem a couple of times.
Next to the last verse doesn't needs an apostrophe but that is just tiny stuff if you rewrite or add to another site you can fix it then. I do that all the time so if you ever want to run one by me I'd be glad to proofread for you. Different eyes can find little things better sometimes, i used 2 editors on my book and still things were missed.
Faith doom war trust love God were nice ways and words to end verses with and that was a nice touch. I liked the message too and regardless of where it places you should be proud of it. Please write me an e and I will introduce myself. thanks for your comments mk
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-04-11 13:27:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Boy, the evangelicals are going to have a time with you, my dear. While you and I sit sipping, tea, coffee, wine, taking our joy on bounding over the fear brigades in stride. Joy is well-placed, joy the redeemer, it's the only true homage we can make to God. The supreme thankfulness. So I add the implied word summation to your other verse summaries. Are we in sync?...I think so, wanting so much to kiss your hand.
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