This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2012-05-24 18:43:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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definition: I get what I deserve

the day is over the last visible light extinguished what was done what was accomplished did the human race advance was there love to be given I know no more than ever if anything, probably less a sine wave is trying to become a circle it is the definition of a hopeless quest I no longer expect anything except the hurt except to be hurt except to feel hurt I get what I deserve once I heard "death be not proud" I wonder if it even notices the souls that it sweeps away I get what I deserve lost confusion lost definition a life pissed away to an unfeeling norm to an uncaring god to a precarious life to what, whom, and where nothing really matters unless I decide it does because in the end beyond the final chapter past the appendices the only thing that scored the only consequence that registered in this stupid and unloving brilliant and exquisite existence is what I love what I hate what loves me what damns me what I remember and what I (choose to) forget nothing will be left except for a memory in the minds of those who once thought of me I get what I deserve by a life defined by unfulfilled narcissism and self-indulgence

Copyright © May 2012 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-06-07 19:05:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Medard, Too long and drawn out. Could be more concise. Idea is good and heart felt though. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-06-07 00:57:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.16667
Hello poet!! your anger slapped me before I realized what the problem is! your words run so fast, its hard not to scream them ! and the hopelessness....ugh yes, theres always that...your self-indulgence is a common course for people when we feel these things that you describe. I have alot of those thoughts myself sometimes so I can 'feel them'... except I never have the anger you express. That is a huge draw that will suck any reader in, and puts the piece into life, more than just a melancholy tale of dispair; its more a call to action with its forceful projections. (better than head banging-lol) I wont say that I'm glad I read. I will say that Im glad you shared those feelings, and that I found them here. I expect your next few writes will reflect these individualy. Im looking forward to your smile one day....~smile~~ Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-06-04 17:44:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Medard, This poem is full of despair and anguish. I hope this is not biographical but is speaks of depression perfectly. I like your descriptive words, the easy flow and the theme, albeit sad. Good alliteration in what/whom/where. I think all of us have these feelings of desperation once in a while but it usally passes without doing harm. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2012-05-31 09:36:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Medard, A very harsh coming-to-face with the choices one has made.. I can feel the intensity with which the person in the poem deplores his own self-absorbed living and the strength with which he recognizes and accepts the results of his actions. I dwelled a long time on the lines a sine wave is trying to become a circle I must say it set my thoughts into much momentum.. beautiful lines.. I arrive at the sine wave.. trying to progress.. it is a form that has its ups and downs, yet can progress.. but the circle.. it is endless.. it is the same beaten path over and over again.. but the sine wave thinks the circle is more defined... more familiar.. and wants hopelessly to become the circle.. I find it to be a beautiful metaphorical expression.. and shall take the liberty of quoting it when I see a fool on a hopeless quest in the future (if I have the good fortune of meeting one who fits the description!) I loved the food for thought.. keep it coming! Best wishes, Ash
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