This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-06-12 14:51:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Soul Sick in Albuquerque on a Bus Lay-over

Soul, wondering, troubled sick, undeterred                             unaltered by vibration, scent from buds, dew-laden boughs Wrapped still in splendor but by the hope of                           release to go elsewhere, beyond the crumbling decay                  in all things bottled in demise Capped and sold as inevitable to progress by being                   denied even to exist.

Copyright © June 2012 James C. Horak

Additional Notes:
If you can't identify with this then leave it the fuck alone. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2012-06-27 14:59:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I see a troubled soul who is discouraged around beauty but is hopeless in finding pleasure or continuing on in this way through life. NOTE: There are several different websites to coach those who can not effectively communicate with peers. Anger is so distressful - in my opinion...

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-06-23 01:04:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James. Glad to see you're back! About this writing....I found something in it to 'feed on'. Probably doesnt fit anyway, but I read it with a fine line, be it my own. I want my 'wrapping' to be silk and I want to stay there until.. I'm not... I know the feel of nothing-ness and have a real sense of 'one' and so I used your words to comfort my soul; believing existance should be free. Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-06-20 18:02:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James, This melancholy poem is stunning. Your imagery of a bus ride paints a perfect picture in my mind. Watching the landscape drift by but not in a good way rather it belies the emotions of the protagonist. Your word choices are expressive, the flow is smooth and the theme is creative and outstanding. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2012-06-13 18:31:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James; I can 'identify,' and I wouldn't change a word. It's ironic, perhaps, that similar words describe such closely related feelings in both of us. Existence is futile without purpose, truth, or trust. Love "Soul Sick." Almost immediately, I understood the 'ache' in your words. I have not written anything in so long, simply because it seemed no one could not/would not identify. You start with such beautiful imagery, and appeal to all the senses. "Bottled in demise" (love it, love it, LOVE IT!)says so much by itself, but is starkly amplified by being completely denied the simple right to 'exist.' Missed you, my friend. Mary
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!