This Poem was Submitted By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2012-06-13 14:29:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Prey
like an African evenfall,
obscurity overtakes me.
ominous, consuming -
to haunt my horizons
like strand wolves
descending onto dreamscapes;
their cackling laughter
a mockery of imminent decay.
nothing is spared.
eyes blinded in suffering
can see no asylum.
the lions are circling;
I am
but a wounded gazelle.
. |
|
Copyright © June 2012 Mary J Coffman
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-07-07 17:51:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mary,
So very descriptive, so poignant and deep with meaning-- we must belong to the same school of thought or perhaps circumstance. Little whisps of anger, frustration edge almost to the surface but then with draw just before you put your pen to the paper--bravo, excellent writing. Thank you for sharing your work with us, most enjoyable. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-06-20 13:45:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
"like stranded wolves" an image that recreates itself as your reader might envision a lion pride descending a slope awaiting to feed on what one of their lionesses has brought down. Whatever is labeled "prey" is game and unfortunately in today's predatory society that applies to a vast majority of us. Not even the food chain itself is spared. What lies at the top is more unforgiving and merciless than anything in nature, including that belonging to the most menacing of beasts. For they obey instinct while our very own monsters betray humanity.
Good poems set me off, my dear...as you can see. So it's your fault.
So good to have you back, not to mention your rare talent.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-06-15 23:38:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ah, original and unique is my impression! I think this is really good. Poet, I do like your style. I have to say that you have left me with a feeling of unrest here. Because I like this so much there isnt much that I could offer for critiscism so I will just say these few things.
eyes blinded in suffering
can see no asylum. ~~~~ wow! that is profound to me...which I had thought of that one :)
But what of the wolves cackling? Do they really do that? I have only coyote to compare them with. I would like to hear more about those wolves. :)
thanks for letting me read!
Ellen
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!