This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-07-08 01:48:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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She Brings

her morning song her late evening shirts  gathered about calling succor for her daughters creatures of color--hues of birth songs  ethereal resonance They said, “we mean no harm”, we cooed holding the diminutive body  quivering in early morning mist— what are these reactionaries (does not the blade of grass weep for the flower shorn of bud) the babies utter soft secrets the ones that lie on toasted leaves to flutter with mornings breath—dew glistened, christening… In the face of humanities loss  men of long tooth have given to their cups bewildered at the refusal for divine intervention a cosmic harmony— why do you want to hide the truths— perhaps to hide the sin within?

Copyright © July 2012 Lora Silvey


This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-07-10 11:50:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
~~~~O how to crit by my own rules!! Sad for me to admit but my mind is just not grasping this....I admit I read it yesterday too. So it is without understanding that I move forward...but the very last line hits hard! I can not figure how it applies but it has enough power of its own to strike a note. her morning song her late evening shirts gathered aboutcalling succor for her daughters creatures of color--hues of birth songs ethereal resonance ^^ I am picturing a mother on a school morning. Proud and busy as she prepares her daughters for the day. They said, “we mean no harm”, we cooed holding the diminutive body quivering in early morning mist— what are these reactionaries (does not the blade of grass weep for the flower shorn of bud) ^^ I am lost. I'm thinking about a baby bird now, and wondering if the girls didnt find one. the babies utter soft secrets the ones that lie on toasted leaves to flutter with mornings breath—dew glistened, christening… ^^^either these are baby birds enjoying breakfast, or we are talking about insects and not birds at all! In the face of humanities loss men of long tooth have given to their cups <<that is a great line!! bewildered at the refusal for divine intervention a cosmic harmony— why do you want to hide the truths— perhaps to hide the sin within? ^ ^ ^ I love that because it is so true! even innocent people try to make excuses for their lack of understanding ?why? I feel pretty silly right now. I have missed the boat. Perhaps my own cosmic understanding is so dimly lit that I am unable to see! I would have benifited from 'additional notes' perhaps. Im sure alot of others will get this, I am just 'not the one'. SOOO sorry. I think the first two verses filled me with vivid pics and emotions that I will go with. I could relate that with a Monday morning (late evening shirts) and a mothers pride for two lively, energetic beautiful girls! >>>ethereal resonance Taking me back to the excitement of the girls preparing for all the 'what if's of the day.. Thanks for letting me ramble. I am looking forward to your response- your reaction LOL ~smiles~ Ellen


This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-07-09 00:24:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Lora, You have written a fabulous poem and one I enjoyed from the first line to the last. You have chosen expressive word choices and each line has been well composed. I fell a bit of political flavor here but I could be wrong. Your phrasing is impeccable and evocative. This is one of those poems I wish I had written. Bravo! Best wishes cheyenne
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