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She Brings her morning song her late evening shirts gathered about calling succor for her daughters creatures of color--hues of birth songs ethereal resonance They said, “we mean no harm”, we cooed holding the diminutive body quivering in early morning mist— what are these reactionaries (does not the blade of grass weep for the flower shorn of bud) the babies utter soft secrets the ones that lie on toasted leaves to flutter with mornings breath—dew glistened, christening… In the face of humanities loss men of long tooth have given to their cups bewildered at the refusal for divine intervention a cosmic harmony— why do you want to hide the truths— perhaps to hide the sin within? |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-07-10 11:50:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
~~~~O how to crit by my own rules!!
Sad for me to admit but my mind is just not grasping this....I admit I read it yesterday too. So it is without understanding that I move forward...but the very last line hits hard! I can not figure how it applies but it has enough power of its own to strike a note.
her morning song
her late evening shirts
gathered aboutcalling succor for her daughters
creatures of color--hues of birth songs
ethereal resonance
^^ I am picturing a mother on a school morning. Proud and busy as she prepares her daughters for the day.
They said, “we mean no harm”, we cooed
holding the diminutive body
quivering in early morning mist—
what are these reactionaries
(does not the blade of grass weep
for the flower shorn of bud)
^^ I am lost. I'm thinking about a baby bird now, and wondering if the girls didnt find one.
the babies utter soft secrets
the ones that lie on toasted leaves
to flutter with mornings
breath—dew glistened, christening…
^^^either these are baby birds enjoying breakfast, or we are talking about insects and not birds at all!
In the face of humanities loss
men of long tooth have given to their cups <<that is a great line!!
bewildered at the refusal for divine intervention
a cosmic harmony—
why do you want to hide the truths—
perhaps to hide the sin within?
^ ^ ^ I love that because it is so true! even innocent people try to make excuses for their lack of understanding ?why?
I feel pretty silly right now. I have missed the boat. Perhaps my own cosmic understanding is so dimly lit that I am unable to see! I would have benifited from 'additional notes' perhaps. Im sure alot of others will get this, I am just 'not the one'. SOOO sorry.
I think the first two verses filled me with vivid pics and emotions that I will go with. I could relate that with a Monday morning (late evening shirts) and a mothers pride for two lively, energetic beautiful girls!
>>>ethereal resonance
Taking me back to the excitement of the girls preparing for all the 'what if's of the day..
Thanks for letting me ramble. I am looking forward to your response- your reaction LOL
~smiles~
Ellen