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Daily Bread he went to work with a smile. the smile left a quarter past nine, but he would be there til five. he had a new testament in his back pocket that he would read with his coffee and smokes, and if the smile never came back, he was ready. for he had read of the smile that only leaves with Death. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-09-06 19:09:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark. I like this. It says what you believe in without being 'preachy'... this is helpful to me as I dont feel the need to cross-reference scripture. (smile) Your work does have that effect on me. You're always making me think deeper into the Christian experience.
I cant help but mention the 3rd verse. Isnt forgiveness a wonderful thing? A Holy Book in one hand, and a cigarette in the other? The irony really caught me!
I think that the last word, being in caps, adds a nice touch to the finality of it all. I think there is only one death that would steal a smile, right?
Keep up the good work!
~smiles~
Ellen