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This Poem was Submitted By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2012-09-08 03:51:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Quantum Picture

If I were an ant, How many days would I travel from Venice, to meet you at the Eiffel Tower of Paris? Would it take a year? A decade? A century? Or eternity? If I were a photon, How probable am I found in your imagination? Is it described by Schrodinger's equation? Could the light that our love radiates also exist in dual nature--wave or particle? As what Young's double slit experiment proved, But the mystery is yet unsolved. If I were in the perspective of an atom, Could I feel the kinetic throbbing of your heart? Could I sense your gentle touch? Thank God! My perspective is at your perspective, I see you not in a quantum picture But a real image of your physical figure.

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-09-23 09:39:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The devices here, progression from the travel of an ant, to that of a photon; the swipe at the present-answer- to-all-things perspective found in the blanket use of "quantum" by technocrats...then the relief, to fall back on a reality always present, "But a real image of your physical figure" are delightful. We can hardly be romantic in any traditional sense if we are stuck in a world increasingly less spiritual and hardly ever "real" in any actual application. More than this, poetically, you have found a novel way to express a love poem without the maudlin attachments to which lesser poems fall. A poem most delightful and skillfully done. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-09-17 13:53:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Jordan! What a delightful change of pace you've offered. A unique- and original- approach to theory. The open style is perfect for this! I like the title. I also like the way you brought the end back to the physical realm. The joy expressed there makes it all 'real' again. You've inspired me with some news thoughts today! Sorry I cant offer more than this. I cant see any reason to change anything. I'm glad you shared this! Its good. ~smiles~ Ellen

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-09-16 10:45:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jordan, the mixing of photons in multiple locations, living and dead cats, and an ant on a trek from Venice to Paris make for an entertaining soliloquy. That you know of the double slit experiment and its result or anthropomorphize the inanimate of an atom, adds substance to a very living view. (of course, if consciousness is a product of quantum mechanics as I believe it is, then an anthropomorphized atom is salient as a metaphor). I liked this piece. To presume the physical image of God is captured in the metaphysical recombining of the quanta world is a sort of brilliant leap. As a matter of fact, contextually it adds a level of validation to the concept of God. A very well presented poem, and treatise. Well Done.

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-09-13 15:22:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Jordan, You have penned a fabulous free verse poem. Love poems are so difficult to write as so many have been written and some of the words that express love have been used up. However, I found yours to be fresh and intriguing. If I were in the perspective of an atom, Could I feel the kinetic throbbing of your heart? Could I sense your gentle touch? These three lines are special and extraordinay. The person you wrote this for must be delighted. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne

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