This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2012-11-13 18:22:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Dance

What do you do When no one is there With what witches  do you conjure up the courage to go on  when nobody cares Whether you truth  Or whether you dare To find that place in your heart That tells you from the start That it takes all that you love  and everything you believe in  To truly make a difference To wholly make a change Where I start  depends on where I end Deliveriing the heart  To begin again To dance the dance that never  ends

Copyright © November 2012 Joe Gustin

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-11-17 17:20:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joseph, I really enjoyed reading this poem more than once. I like the melancholy feel of your well chosen words. You have used good alliteration through out and the flow is smooth. Your last verse is especially powerful and evocative. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2012-11-17 09:34:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like this Joe. Nice use of alliteration. I wonder about the grammar of third stanza: "...and everything you believe in" but I know it would be awkward to say, "and everything in which you believe." Perhaps something like, and everything you know - which would be assonic with the next line's "wholly" Nice use of metaphor. Thanks for pointing my back to TPL
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-11-16 21:45:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello. I can hear the rhythm that keeps you dancing in this piece! I read it with a cadence that sounds a bit like a chant and I can feel the 'drumming' of the dance. That's a true compliment my friend! Your voice here is resounding and your point comes across very well. You definately need spell check-dont we all - smile Its hard to say about your use of caps. I know there's alot of freedom in poetry. I think a good rule of thumb is to use a cap when the sentence begins a new thought-or where you might naturally pause in conversation... but there's your license to do as you please. ~smile~ I like your style. Its a good poem. I hope your dance is exactly what you want it to be! smile~ Ellen
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