This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-12-28 13:02:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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On the Round Road

                                                        So hand in hand, past the sleeping houses, fields,                                                         the woods with their greens eyes, their haunted limbs                                                         and scattered majesties, past men’s sanction,                                                          past the cherubim, in earshot of the fading vows                                                          of God – to what follows hard, made softer by your hand,                                                         we make our way.                                                                                         Our context fire,                                                         both past and future, though our quintessence                                                         dust. Something moves through us, nudging desire,                                                         thought, which has its own itinerary, which leaves                                                         us naked, lost, finally dead. But now we flirt                                                         on edges, peeking down. This life before                                                         is worth the leap, the rise is worth the fall -                                                           believe that, now, and never look ahead . . ..                                                          Far worse than us are coming.  

Copyright © December 2012 Mark Steven Scheffer


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2012-12-29 13:55:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I am not sure how to peg this poem. Is it a sad we all a doomed poem or a uplifting piece. The sad part would be the closing lines. The uplifting part would be "the rise is worth the fall" fantastic. Sad or Happy this is a well worded work


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2012-12-29 09:13:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Powerful images and metaphoric splendor. Up to markshefferian standards of excellence. Fine construction, assonance, thought provoking substance in this piece One suggestion I have is to to change that harsh flow-stopping word "itinerary" to perhaps "design?"
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