This Poem was Submitted By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2013-09-02 14:22:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Next Time...This Time

Next Time... My fear will not always control my fate Next Time... I will believe in ME from the very beginning Next Time... I won't need to be told that who I am is OK Next Time... I'll know how to be soft and strong at the same time Next Time... Pursuing my dreams will be the FIRST thing I do - not the last Next Time... I will consider ALL of the of possibilities This Time... I'll ask all the right questions before I give my heart and soul away This Time... I'll be the priority and not just an option This Time... I won't have to ask - he'll want to without me saying This Time... He'll make time and not just make excuses This Time... I'll feel a love and a peace like I've never known This Time... I will find the sanctuary that has eluded me for so long  This Time... The NEXT time will be the BEST time
Copyright © September 2013 Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2013-10-02 16:18:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Kim, This poem is filled with anger, emotion and regret. it's easy to say next time when we are sure there will be a next time. You have used good poetic devices like alliteration and enjambments which serve to make the poem more powerful. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2013-09-27 14:02:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Reads like a mantra. I am so temped to print this a post in somewhere I can see it every day to remind myself I deserve better. Thanks for the inspiration
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2013-09-07 08:53:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This self-encouraging poem tells the reader that ultimate peace is what the writer wants and is reminding herself in a list of what not to do in life anymore - to avoid being hurt. It's an inspiring message but it could be improved in ways such as - only use "Next Time" once - then add the lines following it underneath - the repetitive takes away from the true message. The same with "This time" Something like this perhaps? Next Time... fears will not control my fate I will believe in ME from the very beginning I won't need to be told that who I am is OK I'll know how to be soft and strong at the same time Pursuing my dreams will be the FIRST thing I do - not the last I will consider ALL of the of possibilities Affirmations are strong but I wouldn't type any of the words in caps - This Time... I'll ask the right questions before I give my heart and soul away I'll be the priority and not just an option I won't have to ask - he'll want to without me saying He'll make time and not just make excuses I'll feel a love and a peace like I've never known I will find the sanctuary that has eluded me for so long This Time... The NEXT time will be the BEST time Writing about relationships puts demands on the writer; and some relationships aren't meant to be - If it breaks your self-esteem it breaks the spirit inside of you - I see the hope for a better future which is promising - Deni
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