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Time Time stretches out before me like a naked lover Slowly fluidly telling me to take notice pay heed to this moment created for me by her Too quickly will this end Too soon turning softly to the past |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2014-10-20 17:58:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe, I am glad you used the word fluidly--the poem needs it to swim into place and then slowly out of place for the eye. Describing time like a naked lover is a perfect 'now', 'now', now' episode for us to absorb the picture, the meaning, try to get it fixed in place and then to make it slip away, like all things 'now'. It slips into our mind's eye where it lives, perhaps not with the original vibrance and color, but a good proximity.