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Dog Dreaming His leg twitches: he is mounting a bitch, or devouring a rabbit in a field of rhododendrons. Or he sees Ezekiel’s spinning wheel; the long stride of a young DiMaggio: he now knows something rumored by other dogs is real. You are not amused: angels bring messages from God to your kind, for real, and you are wake dreaming the transports of a dog. But you are yet master: as if he heard, his leg stops twitching. Someone drops a spoon. You mouth, involuntarily, don’t, don’t. But his eye opens anyway, to a room with flesh but less carnality, with spirit but less divinity, to his constant love, glorious you. He seems happy, but you a little less . . . You wish you a little less, a little lower than human, an obedient, heated, unelusive mastiff. He senses something off, head turned at you. In lieu of such incarnation, of which you are incapable, you resolve it is time to get him that saved, savory bone. Things seem righted, and he is ecstatic: he has his bone, and is subject to his love, who has again become the subject, lost in his musing, like his God, with something like regret at making his poem. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-11-27 14:55:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You know, I never begin typing and saving your critique before I defeat your formatting. I copy the spaces before your first line, go to “replace” in word, and replace them all with nothing. Bingo, I can actually edit a response!
A fun piece, theology aside. (I can’t remember a single verse that might ascribe and understanding of God, to animals), nevertheless- I like the use in the context of this piece.
It was also interesting (animal or human) describing the change from the ethereal of the dreams, to a carnal, oh, I am home perspective when the eyes open.
Of the god like qualities of the master, and the reach into the dreams of the beast; to the interference (I suspect just for a bit of fun or investigation) it makes me suspect an allegorical meaning. (With me, if you read such, I guarantee anything that isn’t direct, has a back story hidden in the text). I don’t know, I always overthink your verse, I believe. It is the power of your writing that makes me want to find the more.
I adored your ending, “with something like regret at making his poem” though frankly, having written on many different planes, there is probably a indices line within that says… now this is something special.
Enjoyed the read immensely.