This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2014-11-23 21:46:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Eclipse earthtune dark, umbra shading
Tycho watches starbright fading
chases the sun, holds it fast
pocket lightshine will not last
before it's over, plays the moon
song sang lunar, earthshine tune |
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Copyright © November 2014 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.
Additional Notes:
Very old poem. The inspiration for it recently died.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-11-29 23:43:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You a such a Hippee. And if the inspiration for this was ever in your life thank God, Allah, or any other spirit that they were ever there. For this poem is gorgeous
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-11-27 15:03:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Medard,
Of old, it is inconsequential. It has wonderful imaging. The watcher, (I assume the person/dog who passed) absorbs the scene, as the watcher watches the watcher.
I liked you combo-words. The each held a special meaning in the totality of the verse. The entire vision is one easy to be inspired by.
“song sang lunar” great melodic description.
A very well composed piece. I enjoyed the read!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2014-11-23 21:57:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Medard:
Oh! I like it! Right off the bat, the rhythm caught me up in its dance beat—kinda tango-ish, but not quite. “chases the sun, holds it fast” my favorite line. But it’s the last line that really puts
the music to the hot beat “song sang lunar, earthsine tune.” Just goes to show you that a
rhythm can define a poem as easily as metaphors! This has both. Pleasure to read.
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