This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-01-20 20:30:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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      Small one, so precious, so unique quiet reserve construes Mom’s frustrated angry response All your blocks neat stacked and layered balls, cars and trucks row lined all placed by number and color Hidden world within a world holds your thoughts close inside with tiny fingers clenched tightly Your steps counted, your gate metered almost a secret dance mustn’t deviate or tears flow One path our morning walk to take no people’s noise or touch to skew your brow shattering rhythm Nana’s loving hand your safety side by side moving as one fallen feather threatens routine Sudden halt, eyes large in fixed stare small coo from under breath bending slight, feather your delight Three slide steps, stop, feather held high two taps on the air, of all else unaware three steps, two taps with precise care Perhaps someday your world you’ll share

Copyright © January 2015 Lora Silvey

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-02-07 10:20:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, you always manage to bring an intuitive nature to what you write. It is as if the reader has joined the moment, in feelings, sight and action. I would like to be prescient and say I know all that is going on here, and I probably have missed the point- but I have also deliberated and taken the writing into the story, into my experiences, into the hope you ended with. I’ve known (as I read this) mother’s (and father’s) who have struggled with autistic children, and I know those now who deal with Alzheimer’s, the pressures are very similar. There is hope of the autistic, and lacking such (at the moment) for those afflicted in an older age. This is a child, as that hope reaches into the future. The story is compelling, real and alive, which is the remarkable thought that resounds with the necessity. Well done (if I butchered it, I still enjoyed it).

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-01-21 15:43:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I get the feeling by what I am reading that the little one might be autistic. Toys not played with in perfect order. World within a world. Your description of events esp the walk is so beautiful. You unfold the story as carefully as the little one takes steps and that works on so many levels.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2015-01-20 22:32:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Lora, to put yourself into the mind of a small child is amazing here, and this reader gets the strong idea that there is great love and understand of these little children. Even your meter is gated to the steps of a little one, first learning to walk (& loving it of course!). Child is walking with her loving Nana, on the one path well-known, but look! a feather. That wasn’t there before and there is great interest. Child “taps the air with the feather, more taps to see what happens. You have certainly “captured” some moments/thoughts of a “hidden world” where the occupant is as yet unable to describe it to you. Wow. You’ll have to tell me how the title fits in. Thank you for posting this most insightful piece. Marcia McCaslin
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