This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-01-24 11:44:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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A Man Eats Chocolate

A unicorn stands before a field of lilies Her hoof strikes the ground silently as she snorts out the morning’s mist She readies  She steadies  Then charges head long into the lilies Just as she reaches them the lilies pull themselves away  all the while shouting  “Ole”  The sun peeks through  a long canvas of clouds like a child peeking  through a hole in a circus tent An early morning moon glances over its shoulder as it’s on its way  to keep a promise made to a poet and a silver spoon Tall trees of ice-cream green allow the licking of the fat cats that surround them while the mice that are  mounted upon their cat steeds feel the purring beneath  their saddles Cherubs munching on  the meringue of clouds laugh happily at  the sky With clouds stuck in  their teeth and dipping  from their smiles They reach for  and drink a cow or two  to wash down the remnants  of the morning Long Living mirrors play like school children running and shouting “Look at me “looking at you Look at the eternities we create  The forevers we can make" The cows, now done  feeding the cherubs wander over to the  playing mirrors to see and to join in the strange fun I find my legs and  I run over to view  this wondrous sight of gathered mirrors I say to the mirrors  “This is amazing I never beheld an eternity” In a puzzled wink of light they say to me “Only one? Stand where you are  and we will show you more” With that they bent backwards  then at the middle Behold there was another forever Then they bent forward and twisted  here and there Yet another and another An infinity of infinities The ground between the facing mirrors began to let go  Down I went or up I  ascended I simply  do not know I found myself sitting  another place  Of living, speaking grass “We know” they said “Where you want to go” “How could you” I said “When I don’t know" “Trust us” “Trust us” came a billion chants “You have an inner knowing beyond your conscience grasp” With that I laid down as if I were an infant lowered  by his mother The blades of grass  carried me along passing me over their fingers like so many picnic ants I just lay there watching a sky  of living, breathing  blue After a time I began to see many a fleshy nymph Ten in all  There was two large ones with eight smaller ones in their keeping floating just above my eyes Wait a moment  there’re are not nymphs there’re toes Strumming on a   table top of air “Are you just going to  lie there?” Came a lovely voice  I stood up as if  helped up by warm,liquid palms of air And what did I behold ? Why, it was my muse reclining nude upon a mushroom Of course the mushroom was  as grateful as I  She swiped the air with a swish of her hand  and there appeared a  chocolate truffle Its protest gently muffled as she enveloped it with her petaled lips “Hummmm” A thousand yeses collide “Hummm  A million orgasms she finds All exploding ever evolving within the worlds of her kiss “Oh muse” I puffed up  “I, a poet be Tell me why women prefer chocolate to me?”  “What is the secret What is the pull With what sweet chains  does it hold you So that I might tell the world” “Well” she winked with her eyes and her smile “I could tell you but then you would have to die” “Oh please, sweet muse I beg of you For this I must  know  Death by chocolate  or death by you  I simply must have the truth” “So be it my poet”  “So be it my love” Then she placed in my mouth a  chocolate truffle and upon me laid her lips  I felt the shades that the chocolate portrayed The warmth, the tickle the for sure and the fickle  All the worlds of wow colliding with all the  relevance of now   Flavor upon flavor a thousand thoughts within I warmed here  I heated there I screamed  “I get it”  “I get it” The scream  became a whisper spoken into her kiss

Copyright © January 2015 Joe Gustin

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2015-08-14 20:10:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I was simply looking through the poem list and this title caught my eye and I had to read. Dude, what were you smoking when you wrote this? Fantastic scenery from a wildly imagined world twisted around our pitiful reality. I have to say I think this is one of your best. Keep writing, my friend! :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-02-07 10:33:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
So Joe, here we go on the adventure- and it is an adventure more compelling than Alice in wonderland. Anecdotally, in a church I attended, an older woman gave an example to the younger girls on why they should abstain from sex, till they couldn’t. She would have them put a Hershey kiss in their mouths for ten seconds, then tell them to extract it and stop eating it. It was a lesson none of the young girls ever forgot. A man eats chocolate, now there is the lead in to a fantasy as encompassing as the tale itself. It foretells a greater allegory for the reader. Once I began, I couldn’t stop reading it drew my attention to the next stanza, and the next. What I also like is how you, your style, was woven into the tale, I could envision you sharing from a lectern, the story that had to be told. What and excellent piece. To coin a phrase- “I get it”!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-01-24 22:56:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good evening Joe, wow, a most ambitious work you've given us. I believe if you were to do so, you actually have three poems going here in this one. However, the part that most intrigued me was the last third of your write, from the point of "are you just going to lay there"; if you were to section that out it would be outstanding by itself, just a bit of tweaking... you've broken a code (the choclate lure) the symbolism is excellent--so much said with out speaking out loud... I believe this part of your write is the heart of your poem...while it might seem illusive--it gathers deep within the mind where the reader instinctively knows of what you speak without putting name to it. Thank you for the post, most enjoyable...Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2015-01-24 12:24:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe—I don’t know what to say and don’t know where to begin (but it’s a good thing); Personally, I think it’s your best work so far. I was absolutely entranced and my mind produced the illustrations that a slim book would do. I was reading with half a mind looking for words and metaphors to be doubled-up as can happen in a piece this long, and I didn’t find it—every line a fresh new picture described in fresh new words. Actually, it’s quite hard to find a favorite Stanza, but I believe I like “An early morning moon glances over its shoulder…” I think the line: “there was two large ones” needs to be changed to were—and one other line if off a bit: “they’re are not nymphs” Did you mean they’re ALL not nymphs? Anyway, I’ve been wondering where you were—and now I think I know—you were working on a very beautiful and complicated piece. Thank you for posting. I enjoyed this very much! Marcia
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