This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2015-07-01 19:34:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Black Robes

                                                 The Black Robes                                                                                      how you swish, as you move like a fish                                                  upstream,                                                   into my bath, your gills                                                           independent                                                  of your bodies,                                                   making breath out of the                                                    penumbra.                                                   you disclaim trespass                                                   but shit on my                                                   reef.                                                   I can smell you                                                  on the missives                                                  you leave                                                  on my mollusks.                                                   it is bad.                                                   ghosts wear white                                                  but here i am,                                                  haunted                                                  by 9                                                   black moving                                                   curtains,                                                   who                                                  morph into                                                  fish, mouths                                                  puckering.                                                  one, eloquent,                                                  gives me                                                  jiggery                                                    pokery,                                                  though his                                                   poems                                                  don’t keep time,                                                  floating backward,                                                  heading towards                                                  his mind. 

Copyright © July 2015 Mark Steven Scheffer


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-08-05 15:45:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Your poetry is always like stepping in to a dream then out again. Once again, you have mastered this piece - there is so much good in it - all of the pure poetic touches - but you add an additional tone every time you end a poem and that is what sets you apart in your style - "Ghosts wear white" is so good of a contrast to those in black robes (& I perceive them to be Priests i.e. your chosen word "missives" - Glad to read another poem written by you. Deni


This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2015-07-24 00:12:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love the inspiration for the poem. Your choice of words convey an intensity of emotion - disclaim trespass but shit on my reef and i can smell you.. I like when you describe the presence of mollusks - it's not something want to see on our turf but even that has grown familiar and the only invaders are the "black robes". By "bath", I also imagine a river where mollusks have a home and the black robes are smoke from evil factories that dissolve in the water and become hard pollutants. These thoughts took me away from my desk for a good minute. :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-07-02 22:59:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I will freely admit this poem has me stumped as to its meaning. I have read it several times and still not a clue. However it is not to say that I did not enjoy the imagery.Dreams can be filled with such interesting symbols, being one thing meaning another
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