This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-07-02 22:45:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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When When my fingers first
discovered your face
they were like ten
ten astronauts discovering the
complete newness of you
It is from your love
that i so quickly learned
how to talk to wind
and conjurer water
How to harvest words
worthy of your heart
How to write into existence
flowers for the endless hours
of your love |
|
Copyright © July 2015 Joe Gustin
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-07-24 18:31:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A most enjoyable read, very discriptive with an easy flow. Was a bit puzzled on
the "conjurer water" however I took it to mean that of "bringing water forth"
which would be in keeping with the previous line. You put a smile on my face,
like your wording very much. Thank you for sharing this with us. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2015-07-24 00:42:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I feel like this is the sequel to Petals. A woman should be so lucky to have someone like you write this about her. The unusual comparison of fingers on a face to astronauts discovering a whole new world expresses the newness of the experience and the joy of discovery. Very nice.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2015-07-12 11:02:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Joe,
Nice lyric. Did you really intend "conjurer" water, or "conjure" water? You could be referring to water as a "conjurer." Just pointing this out to you to see if it's your intent.
MSS
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