This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-08-17 23:59:08 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Ungracious Creations One sole blade
would pierce my heart
cease the beats
brand me to bleed
in pain for folks
with endless greed.
Such mean terms
hurtful words
that breathes hells
fire inside of me;
slashing apart
again and again
whilst I shrink
to bended knees
with every stab
a single waning seed.
Yet I’ll be damned
to allow it a place
foster this faith
repair why they
wish me despair;
Plant my seed among
kindred charms
flourish above such
arrogant harm
deaden the spew for
growth will come ‘round
through spirits willing me new. |
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Copyright © August 2015 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-08-27 23:36:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
I am not sure what the personal meaning of this is to you, but as an exceptional write it offers the reader to make their own interpretation and in some way make it their own. A true poet's gift. Nonetheless, this is incredibly strong, with passionate and intense emotional verses and words. I wish had such feeling. Thank you so much for posting.
Only my best,
Medard
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2015-08-25 08:26:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Oh Dear Deni, I am sorry you've had to face this. Sadly, I've seen this even in my own family, although not my immediate one. It can be infuriating. However, I have also felt many times that its the greed of these "ungracious creations" that sometimes allows them to respond and survive in a fast-changing world. It's the only coping/adapting mechanism they know. Either to get something material or for a moment of emotional superiority. I too'd be damned before I allow space for this in my life. I love the last lines. I think For growth will come 'round should have been the whole line, "for" being placed alongside the 2nd last line. It took me a second to read it right. Lovely poetry.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-08-19 20:26:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
One sole blade sounds like someone's careless statement. Hurtful words from people with no imagination. pushing your soul into a corner so small no movement other then escape is possible. And escape you did. I love how you plant your seed among "kindred charms". excellent use of words and good advice for this reader. Thank you. A beautiful write
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