This Poem was Submitted By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-09-06 21:37:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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My line

I can not stand alone but I can lie alone I do not know of any one who will carry me without issue my exceptions project an unworthwhile effort my legs buckle I have no position to plea I am my own horizon in figure and actuality I have nothing to offer to any substantial other my thinking eschewed by feelings dismissed I am not defined in lines by a world without dimensions I am singular, an unknown point no line can connect the substrates of my all no redemption can ever reclaim me I only cultivate soil where my ashes return to lie in the dirt in line with the rest no marker, no memory, nothing to mourn I can never be  what I am not I am a line dispersed into absolutely nothing  

Copyright © September 2015 Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.

Additional Notes:
the last drivel of my line

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-10-04 19:54:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Medard, Your analogy is not wasted on me. The concept of a line, (lifeline et al), of no width or depth, simply length- in describing the feelings of aloneness, or the epitaph of a life come and gone is extraordinary. The temporalness of both the disconnection and the resolve of eternity, is a powerful vision. I say that to ascribe to the writer the vision, and not tarry on a substantive image. I want to grab the line, and yank it, but not having the necessary information as to the creative inspiration, it might be yanking at a metaphor, or a heart. The heart is so much more substantive than a metaphor. Well Done Medard, well done.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-09-29 07:49:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Oh - this is great Medard - I'm not sure where to start my critique - (smile) - The depth of this poem touches the reader - in so many different ways - 3rd verse is outstanding - the art of your talent has defined this piece - the 6th verse makes me wake up and think - he has perfected a poem - and I am loving it so much - My Line- is your own individuality - stark, expressive, leaving this reader wanting to read more - I don't see one thing wrong in this poem - I just love it - Kudos to you - for submitting such a wonderful write - Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2015-09-22 03:58:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Fantastic read. The reader is captured from the first line right through to the last. Thank you for posting this piece. Kevin
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-09-19 11:17:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Its interesting how you can take such sadness and create such beauty. No cliques is on its own remarkable. The sadness is unmistakeable. It,s like reading about a beautiful flower that blooms in a place were no one can see.
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