This Poem was Submitted By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2015-10-05 08:13:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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THE DEAD. The dead, worry not that taxes go up. The dead, care not about love or competition. The dead, hate not nor wish ill upon anyone. The dead, have given up all they ever had and will have nothing nor want. The dead, know not hunger sickness or chills. The dead, shiver not on winters nights nor perspire in summer. When living they enjoyed all this, and 'tis said, would surely exchange their rest to once again feel even pain or hunger. But then there is only one way to find out for sure. 

Copyright © October 2015 kevin Dunn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-10-27 14:45:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kevin – Contrast, a piece about contrast. Of course, there are times when what the dead cannot do or feel, sounds almost paradisiacal, but then, that may be a backdoor point for the home team- however; “only one way to know for sure?” – the remonstration of what actually happens when dead? The return to life, once the knowledge of death is known? That the continued knowledge of this life’s sensory illusion is a significant improvement over what death has to offer? of if there’s nothing, any change is an improvement? Thought provoking. As for a bountiful critique? There’s only one way for me to find out for sure!

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2015-10-24 05:35:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The dead, worry not that taxes go up. The dead, care not about love or competition. The dead, hate not nor wish ill upon anyone. The dead, have given up all they ever had and will have nothing nor want. The dead, know not hunger sickness or chills. The dead, shiver not on winters nights nor perspire in summer. When living they enjoyed all this, and 'tis said, would surely exchange their rest to once again feel even pain or hunger. But then there is only one way to find out for sure. Hi Kevin. A few things about this piece: Why not take "The dead" out of those 6 sentences? Since that is the title anyway, do you really need it in those lines? And if you are concerned about structure, then maybe some rewording of line 4. You have worry not, care not, hate not, etc., then the rhythm breaks there in 4. Maybe "covet not"? or something. Love the reality of the last line by the way. Nice piece!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-10-19 10:28:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nice. the title could have easily been" Start Living " This poem is quick to the point and is not at all pretty and rosy. It is a plain as the dirt the fills in the grave.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-10-15 22:11:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Love it! I guess I am dead, though the news and TPL keeps drawing me back into the realm of the living. You are right, there is only one way to know for sure. I guess like many, I would like to delay eternity or finality for the time being. Nice playful and serious post. No cost of living increase for SSI this year, guess I'll be in limbo for the time being unless the fates dictate otherwise. No hunger, but it is starting to get a little chilly. My best, Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-10-15 00:26:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
The one thing that truly stands out is yes; the dead are freed from earthly burdens which touch every life while alive - and within the realm of living we all have to face the issue of our own mortality -no one ever really knows - Your lines and structure do stand out with stark lines which are impressive to read - this subject is not the first choice with poets but it should always be written about in poetic fashion - after all it is the end of life - I'm glad to see you have challenged this subject here - and wrote a very nice piece that allows a reader to pause and think about this - really think and wonder - It takes a certain talent to accomplish a poem on a topic many would prefer not to think about - You gave me a lot to think about and I applaud you for that- very nicely done, Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2015-10-08 21:02:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Kevin: I know this isn't a Halloween poem but it could have been. I can't say that I think one dead person would hanker for pain or hunger...and so I do not understand the last line. Help me out please and tell me the only way to find out for sure. Very neat post! Thank you!
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