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REVISITATION How invades she to my very soul, Slays me with her lies? How betrays me with accusations false, Where went her inner eyes? How screams she into paralyze, That frightens all I be? Derision if I answer her; Silence betrays the real me. Proclaims she to all around And many accept her view. I feel to stand alone again Despite some faithful few. Years pass by, with all the same, Her judgments of my soul. Vain, my attempts for peace, She distances, thwarts my honest goal. She's not the center of my world; She could not conquer all. And I, stronger now from her stabs Am converted and standing tall. To silently love her from afar I have learned the way. To forgive her and let go of her -- "Grant her healing, God," I pray. Surprised that I seek not for myself, For years have made me wise; If I am to love an "enemy," Find the hurt 'neath her disguise. |
Additional Notes:
This expresses a real incident and a real thinking/feeling process about the incident.
There are some deliberate grammar "errors." For instance, "paralyze" is used in a verb form, instead of a noun, to "underline" more strongly the extreme effect on me at first. There are several lines wherein the sentence structure, the order of words or phrases, is reversed. (E.g, the verb is before the subject in the first line.) For me, these "aberrations" contribute to a sense of timelessness about the wisdom of my slow recovery. The word-form "'neath" for beneath is also of more "archaic" poetry.
Also, the poem's rhythm is created by stress and unstressed syllables, so that the entire poem rocks back and forth. (Lines or stanzas are not meant to follow a pattern.)
Rhyming of the final word in the 2nd and 4th lines of each stanza is to accentuate the cadence.
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