DeniMari Z.'s E-Mail Address: writer356@hotmail.com

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by DeniMari Z.	Critique Date
Night Pacing	Mandie J Overocker	Dear Amanda, The reader can feel the "anxiety" jumping out from the page on this poem. I'm feeling tense, nervous and alone as I read this. I'm thinking this is exactly the kind of mood you wanted to create - so you definitely have achieved that. I'm happy that the writer understands the "panic" and does not completely loose control. Unfortunately for those that suffer panic attacks - they are much too difficult to explain to someone who has never had one, only those that have experienced them can understand completely how the mind takes control of the body as you describe, sweaty palms, racing heart etc., and that horrible impending doom that slowly subsides as the panic attack wears off. This is a good poem, people need to be aware of this - because so many suffer from panic attacks. Good job. sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-10 23:51:46
Mainstreaming	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, I can fully appreciate the message in this poem - it is mapped out within each verse and comprehendable to the reader. It's a great concept also, with so many amazing wonders in the world - how do we really define our "humdrumness" or "malaise?" This poem makes me stop and put thought into that - and although I don't have the answer I'll continue to try to broaden my horizon on the subject - because it's been brought to my attention in this amazing poem. There is nothing I would change in your poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-10-03 23:49:39
Thoughts on An October Day	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, What a superb way of bringing October into view. This poem has exceptional imagery, feeling and warmth that is refreshing to read. It also spins a story of the birds leaving and if the author will see them return again. That is so imaginative and clever! I completely enjoyed this poem from beginning to end and found it to be an irresistable read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-30 19:26:56
Enough	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, I like this poem better than the 2nd one, much better. The shorter verses didn't please me as much as this does. The other poem didn't have as great an impact on me as this does. The other poem was lacking the emotion that this one has. All of the points made in this poem are true, I agree with your statements. It is enough to dream of simple things - some of the sweetest moments in life are full of these and are cherished for years. I also agree that everyone matters - and at night we should feel we've done "enough" in the day to please ourselves and those closest to us. Good job on these - a lot of thought provoking statements and written in a clear compehendable manner. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-17 22:26:14
Enough2	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, I've just read both of these poems and I'm going to say I like the first one much better. I'm going to go back to the first one and critique in full my reasons why. DeniMari	2004-09-17 22:18:47
4 Fleck of the Sun	Jana Buck Hanks	Dear Jana, This is nice - really nice and heartwarming. It's also true - I absolutely love this time of year when the season is about to change - I live in the East and look forward to this every year. I don't see anything that should be changed - I enjoyed it just as it was written. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-14 18:01:45
CRUCIBLE OF THE TOWERS	Paul R Lindenmeyer	Dear Paul, Sometimes I just hate to guess at things - but I have decided that I can read your poem two ways, up from the bottom makes sense and down from the top makes sense. This subject is one of the saddest I see posted here - but I'm glad that everyone still remembers what happended that day - and pays tribute in this honorable way. I enjoyed your poem - the structure and content are both something you should be proud of having developed with your imagination. Good luck with this poem. DeniMari	2004-09-13 17:28:44
ILLINOIS	Mark D. Kilburn	Dear Mark, Your poem brought to mind a line in one of Jim Morrison from the Doors songs - "No one gets out of here alive", and that's the message this piece gives me. It's wonderful to have memories such as yours, a constant source of joy to revisit the old times, with family and friends. You are fortunate to have such memories and blessed with a happy childhood. I don't see any changes to be made here - it's descriptive enough to appreciate the imagery and written in prose which is easily comprehended by the reader. I enjoyed your poem. It's nostalgic touch is heartwarming. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-12 14:08:33
Flow?	Ryan D Allen	Dear Ryan, I see how perplexing flow has become to you - I love the humor in this poem. Critics can be tough, but that's just the learning tool to writing - and making it better. Trust me - if it weren't for the tough critics on this site - I'd still be back at square one - but I've moved up to square two. Basically everything has flow to it - it's the quality of flow - whether it starts and stops at the right places, sounds good while reading aloud - but I'm hoping you know this already and were just making a point and a very clever one. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-12 00:01:07
Fairyland	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, I can feel the desire of the writer to find this mystical place - to be able to live what can only be imagined, in thoughts and words. When we were young we could do that - easily - through books and movies along with our hearts pretending it was all real. It's the feeling you display in this piece that I enjoyed. The last verse is my favorite - the ultimate let down of not finding what you were looking for and the realization that there is no fairyland. You have a beautiful imagination and a wonderful poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-11 20:05:04
Tolerance	Andrea M. Taylor	Dear Andrea, I really appreciate this kind of writing because it makes you stop and think. You've done well with such a few short lines - ignorance is blind tolerance - not beind aware of something makes you oblivious to what's going on. Wisdom is learned tolerance - yes it certainly is - and the wiser you get the more you learn to tolerate. Tolerance is blind faith, good line - accepting what you have to accept and believing faithfully it's ok. The ending couldn't be better - being religious in my own way I strive to become less ignorant of Gods wisdom every day. Good luck with this. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-05 21:09:23
The Nightingale's Song	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Bobby, Hi, It's good to see another post of yours- I've commented before and I comment again on how beautiful I think you write. I imagine this piece isn't just about the nightingale because I see human traits within your lines - that seem to relate to circumstances such as what follows: With family problems churning beneath, Nocturnal songbird fluttered through the halls Imparting cheer, not grief, through aching teeth For nightingales must answer higher calls. Haven't we been conditioned to smile through our difficulties - hide what we are truly feeling from others as to not depress or bring down those around us? There isn't a change to made here, just a deep beautiful poem to read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-03 20:57:33
Grandchildren	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, Hi, this is a nice piece and being a grandparent myself I really enjoyed it. I was 37 when my daughter had her first son, she now has three. Also, I just found out this week that my oldest son is expecting his first child in February, so this poem was posted in a perfect week for me. I found that I slipped into the role of grandmother easily and you are so right, that kind of love is deep because they are a part of us, and like you say not responsible for the end result. You have done a great job with this, no matter when it was written - there is nothing I would do to change it. Good luck with all of the kids! Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-02 17:46:19
First Visit	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, This was a good read. There are so many mechanisms, events, tragedies etc. that make up one persons life and at best we're all tested beyond our limits, and our limitations are defined by us questioning ourselves, our ideas, reactions, comments to the point that self analysis could really be destructive. I love the descriptive story in this poem, and I had a good picture of the whole piece unfolding before me. I can't sleep and sometimes I think people are speaking in code, (Were you standing next to foreigners? - just kidding) but I can relate to that idea, good line. There isn't anything I would do to change this, slight typo noted - father chased a general is what you probably meant to type. It brings the reader back to the 60's era - and definitely left an impact on me. Good luck. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-09-01 22:45:52
A Loss of White	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	Dear Medard, This is a very compelling, emotionaly packed poem, that is the very epitamy of someone who is at their wits end with the world. It's very sad and I feel great empathy for the writer. There is no hope left in this piece, there is no bright tomorrow or a better future leaving the imagination to wander to the bleakest of destinies. I know no one in the world escapes feeling pain and lost illusions, but I always try, no matter what to find something good in a bad situation. It's not healthy to feel remorse about oneself entirely, it could lead to serious health problems. I'm hoping that something, somewhere and soon changes for this person in order for them to start feeling just a little more positivity. Thanks for letting me read this. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-08-31 20:50:48
The Rock of Heaven	Gene Dixon	Dear Gene, This child is lucky to have someone love him as much to dedicate a poem to him. Not knowing what relation he is to you doesn't take away from the endearing sentiments expressed in a poetic way. Imagery is good throughout the poem, "like a rock in a river" - splash into the world, brand new creation from God, a blessing that so many never fully realize in a lifetime. In expressing that feeling with the 4 seasons adds a nice touch. Your world is covered by virgin snow, another good line. An entire life, not yet lived, completely innocent and clean as virgin snow. The visual at the end is a nice ending, with picturing a young spirit moving through the scenery of wildflowers and blackberries. I'm thinking he's going to have a world of love to proctect and keep him safe. I enjoyed you poem. sincerely, DeniMari	2004-08-31 17:47:51
A Society Gone Wrong	Ms.Kim Shumaker	Dear Kim, I really enjoyed this posting. It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when all hell broke loose, but it did and you've managed to capture the feeling of that in your poem. It's something I give alot of thought to, but I don't know what happened to our society but it's pretty detestable these days and it seems those that still hold true in our beliefs are the ones sitting on the wrong side of the fence these days. I was born in 1956 so I can appreciate the times you describe. I'm glad I had the opportunity to read this - it's eye opening and the topic needs to be addressed by millions; only that will never happen because I think we've past the point in time to remedy any of it. I noticed just a tiny error, I think you meant to write: our school days began with etc. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-08-29 14:51:07
Unspoken	Jana Buck Hanks	Dear Jana, This poem is full of fragmented memories and unpleasant feelings. It seems the writer is looking for justice to something that happened in the past, and if I can be honest here, it usually never comes. I'm speaking from experience. I feel, sensitivy, insecurity and low self esteem as the main message in this piece. It's time to pull up and pull out of the past - and live for the moments in each new day. I hope that the writer is doing that now. Good read, easily comprehended, thank you for giving the opportunity to read it. I had never heard that quote at the end of it but I really like it. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-08-21 20:07:10
Search	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, This poem has a sad tone to it, "little drop of joy", "search the gloom for one perfect rose", depicting the little of what the writer has hope for. I enjoyed reading this and particularly like the first five lines. Great imagery used with these words! The next four lines are equally as good allowing the reader to feel this warm emotion the writer is experiencing - the tingling in the gut. At this point I think the piece drifts off a little, because the reader wants to know why your senses have been tuned up. Perhaps I'm not completely comprehending your intention in this piece, would you clarify this for me in your response to see what I missed. I enjoy your reads, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to read this. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-08-19 19:11:31
Shadows of Youth	Edwin John Krizek	Dear EJK, A poem well done in retrospect of life lived, brings to mind a sense of peace & security while lingering in the past of what seemed to be the axis of ones youth. Nicely stated in a way that warms the reader, while reminising with you. Personally I'd omit the parentheses because I think they take away from the structue of your poem. Perhaps go with hyphens instead if your intention is to just isolate these specific thoughts. I like the way you wrote the ending, especially "hovering over my middle-aged head like a halo", because it leaves an impact on the reader, good imagery in that line. Theres nothing else I would change, it was easily comprehended and a joy to read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-06-17 19:18:15
Tsa-ga-gla-tal in Spring	Joanne M Uppendahl	Dear Joanne, You really must have a deep passion for nature, to hit the bullseye on a piece such as this. I'm in awe, and astounded that anyone can tune into nature at this level and with words paint an artistic view of such an event. Imagery is outstanding in this poem, and done in such a cleverly comprehendable manner - it's exquisite in my opinion and I wouldn't change a single letter, sentence or thought that you have created for us to enjoy. My best to you, as always, sincerely, DeniMari	2004-06-16 19:48:41
The Desert Wind	sheryl ann minter	Dear Sheryl Ann, I'm not familiar with your postings, but I'm glad I stumbled onto this poem. It truly paints a picture for the reader to escape into. Imagery is done in an artistic way, and this piece has a calming effect on the reader. I won't copy and paste your lines to comment on each individually, but you've pulled deep into your inner resources to capture in words a naturistic view of "somewhere", and that somewhere you've made beautiful with your words. I hope to be able to read more from you. sincerely, DeniMari	2004-06-12 14:41:49
Life	Stephanie Corrine Mueller	Dear Stephanie, I see you've tuned into the "down" side of life, and quite well I might say. Just a few corrections that I spotted with spelling - coming only has one m, and shear used in that sense means to shear, like a sheep. Think the correct spelling is sheer. Your poem flows well, reads well and is easily comprehended by the reader. It touches on depression, and the angst one feels when happiness seems to evade them. Life is full of speedbumps, just gotta learn to get over the big ones, and enjoy the moments in between because as awful as life can get, their are moments to cherish also. Remember that changing circumstances plays a big part on ones happiness, I speak from experience so trust me on that. Anger can eat away at someone, so get to the root of the anger and try to resolve it. There isn't anything else I would change. Best to you, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-06-09 18:27:02
Summer Rain	Edwin John Krizek	Dear Edwin, This is a well thought out structured poem, that's easy to read and flows well. The only change I would make is in your following verse: Nurturing life-giving water from heaven will soak the earth change change the word will to "to", Nurturning life-giving water from heaven to soak the earth......... In essence I feel like I'm reading about nature, but I feel a hidden message from the writer that I wasn't clearly at this time completely comprehending. (I have the flu and I think it's throwing me off). Anyway, I really enjoyed this poem, and I hope you don't mind me suggesting that little change. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-05-30 18:25:17
What I Wish For In A Friend	Cathy Hill Cook	Dear Cathy, This is a very well written, sentimental tribute to those we are fortunate to have in our lives, our dearest friends. I don't think I would change anything in this, because it moved me, just as it was written. It has a deep spiritual touch to it, and a sincerity that holds the readers attention and leaving the reader wanting more to read. I absolutely fell in love with this, Sincerely, DeniMari P.S. I also forwarded it on to one of my most treasured friends.	2004-05-29 21:30:47
Apology to my readers	Mark Andrew Hislop	Dear Mark, You have quite a sense of humor, as exposed in this poem. It's really very good, and thank you because I needed a laugh tonight. I'm not sure why you have to apologize, guess I missed the true content of what your intentions are, but I'm glad I read this. The ending is perfect, "Turd", the writer is accepting the opinion of what others think he is by simply stating so. Whatever you did to warrant the label, I think you've come back brilliantly and suffice to say, wrote a very unique piece. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-05-18 21:59:52
The Boy Who Played with Barbie	G. Donald Cribbs	Dear Don, It was the title of this poem that caught my eye, (I used to throw my Barbie Dolls off of a diving board, then dive into rescue them - ha!). I like the deeper message that comes through in this piece, not just about childhood play, but what the reality of marriage can be. Two people meshed together, dividing? Children? That would be my first guess. I like the whole structure of this poem, it's neat and precise and easy to read. Your last verse had the most impact - "transcending any fantasy I concocted with pink plastic piled before me," very good line, very deeply stated. There's nothing I would change in this, I enjoyed it immensely - because it brings up so many emotions for the reader to feel. Good luck and just wanted to know I read your bio - don't regret missing out on Princeton, I live close by to it, and I think the choices offered to you after that - gave you so much more to be thankful for. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-05-16 20:38:03
My Mom's Motherhood	Thomas Edward Wright	Dear Thomas, Wow, what a blast from the past this read was for me. Having experienced all most all of your poem in my real life - I thank you for bringing back memories, - and I know this tribute for your mother must be endearing to her. It was always the little things that made us happy children and I wonder with all of the high technology kids have now, what "special" things they will remember. I picture my son thinking back to video games and that's pretty scary. Fortunately - I've instilled a desire in him to read, which works for both of us. This poem was good in imagery, detailed descriptives that made it easy to follow. You managed to thank her, in your own way, without the usual sentiments of love which to me really makes this poem stand out. I enjoyed your poem. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-05-10 18:27:02
with a tranquil passion burning	zen sutherland	This is a great poem full of imagery and eloquent verses. I see this as a love poem, not done in prose, but more with lines that bring a warmth to the piece. The omission of a rhyming scheme doesn't take away any meaning for the reader, but gently describes the love in the writers heart. I'd rather not disect this line by line, I see no changes to be made and I thoroughly enjoyed this as it is. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-05-04 18:37:24
Between Seventeen and Eighteen	marilyn terwilleger	Dear Marilyn, What a sad story of a rebellious young girl who made a fatal mistake. This poem is quietly intense, and brings questions to the mind of the reader. What did she leave? Why did she wait too long to go back home? It reminded me of something I did at 18, feeling mature enough to go out on my own, and rent what had once been an office as an apartment. The whole adventure lasted less than 2 weeks and I went home - where I belonged. I enjoyed this poem, even with the sad theme, it was an enjoyable read. DeniMari	2004-05-01 08:44:23
What Old Men Struggle with at Times Like This	Thomas Edward Wright	Dear Tom, What a great read, very pleasant, comprehendable, giving a warm feeling of comfort to the reader; even though you touch on some disconcerting topics - the expression is laughable. Your 4th verse is hysterical -worrying about the bunnies - I laughed out loud at that line. Your interpretation of this holiday was an open-minded observation and and in the midst of it all, you were content to just enjoy those black jelly beans, which I absolutely detest. They leave my tongue black, but I know a lot of people that love them just like you do. I'm confident you'll get back a good response to this piece, with readers being able to easily relate to the theme. I really enjoyed this. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-04-15 20:30:04
At The Full Of The Moon	Marcia McCaslin	Dear Marcia, This is really nice, your first verse being the best in my opinion with tremendous imagery - what a pretty picture your words make, to describe nightfall along with the splash of the stars. Very unique. Imagery stays good through the next verse, allowing the reader to catch on to the theme, but then it turns around and drifts off with a humourous ending, which completely took me by surprise, because I was expecting it to have as a serene ending as the beginning. Nice turn, and a nice write. DeniMari	2004-04-10 22:42:38
Undone's Mind	Cathy Hill Cook	Hi, I realize this is a big play on words, and it's really cute. My only suggestion is perhaps to give the reader an idea of what Undone is and to also let the reader know more about Fried Beyond Seasons death. You've got a good rhyming pattern - with - a whimsical flair - sort of Cat in the Hat style. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-04-07 17:57:53
What Missing You Means	Rick Barnes	Rick, I can feel the heartache pour out of you in the lines of this poem. Your loss runs deep, and makes me as the reader feel, that I've lost something too. What a strong emotional pull it has, quietly sad - brought me to tears. The tragedy of life is, we do loose people we love. We need to realize, that time with our loved ones is precious and to appreciate it all, and this piece reminds us of how fragile our time on Earth really is. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-03-28 12:45:15
Courage is Fear That Has Said Its Prayers	Cathy Hill Cook	This poem is absolutely fantastic, thought compelling and one of the best I've read so far this month. The ending is just perfect " Courage is Fear That Has Said It's Prayers", how true and how uniquely stated. This stanza is where you really shine - you let go of some inhibitions?, or restraints that would keep you from pursuing your dreams, because you knew what you wanted all your life, just perhaps not how to go about getting it. Fear, perhaps of not being able to attain them, and then relating it to a rocking chair, which of course moves but goes nowhere, very very good analagy. When I did finally let go of my tight unforced grip... I knew portions of me and my dreams would take freedoms trip. I had dreamed through out my life by wishing all I could be. They were just the illusions that my mind had created just for me. I realized fearsome worry is like that of a rocking chair. Its intentions is to keep rocking and gets you virtually no where. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read this - and the message you are conveying is clearly comprehendable through the whole poem. My best to you, DeniMari	2004-03-23 22:14:12
Night Train	Emma Quinn	Dear Emma, I took Amtrak to Georgia a few years ago. It was just me and my son who was 8 then, and you should have seen us holding hands to jump cars! What a great experience that whole ride was. Your poem is structured nicely, and imagery is good. It flows well and the context is clear. The most unusual line is "the blood deep tatoo", very different use of description and works well in this piece. The only change I would offer is perhaps to include some desciption of night - to embellish your title, otherwise it's good just as it is. Thanks for reminding me of that trip - this was a good read. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-03-16 20:02:58
An Unreal Day	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	This poem conveys sadness/depression and isolation in a unique manner. The feelings pour out - boldly leaving nothing to pretense - just the fact that the writer is feeling that real life offers nothing, and seeks out sleep as comfort and escape - which is classic for someone who is depressed. In sleep life offers this writer - more possibilities of happiness then being awake - because there they are safe & happy. It seems like day to day living has become overwhelming - and the cry out for help comes thru in every line. I appreciate this piece for it's sincerety. DeniMari	2004-03-14 14:31:33
reflections	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Robert, Please don't despair -"It will come", in it's time when it's meant to, and we all here will be the beneficiaries of your extreme expression - that I've grown forward to reading on a regular basis. This piece has a softer touch to it, and as I read to the end - I realized it had a calming affect on me. The theme is comprehendable - but I wonder about the words because with knowing that God exists, the world is still a lonely place and that individual faith & belief is what we rely on - because If He is who He says He is, let Him show Himself, - (There it is again, we've never had the opportunity to do this -) to really see and recognize our Holy Father. This was a good post - I missed it the first time around. Good luck - sincerely, DeniMari	2004-03-09 19:20:21
Passion's Play	Robert L Tremblay	Hi, You have posted this piece - (again? wouldn't have known that without your note) - and at a very good time for this particular theme. With the release of Mel Gibsons Passion of the Christ - just recently out- this piece is like an extension - of the movie to this reader, and really has moved me this evening. This poem is soulful, thought provoking and vivid in imagery -as the content speaks for itself, but comes to life with your pen. Once again I am in awe. My best to you DeniMari	2004-03-08 22:07:24
saturday	Erin E Roland	Bitter emotions rise to the surface of this poem - and stand out to tell the sad story of loosing love, someone who meant everything to someone - it's clear when you can still smell their scent around you. Now that this love is over, the writer has hope of finding it again - after the healing period, which brings me to one of my favorite lines - Healed by heart's seasons,a very unique and catching phrase. My one opinion would be that you might want to break it up a little more - because at times it seemed like it was running together in places and would read better if it was cleaned up. Your imagery stays consistent, as the story of the break up unfolds. Very nicely done. Sincerely, Denimari	2004-02-24 23:13:39
Then I'll Dance With Dragonflies	Joanne M Uppendahl	What a great poem to unwind with after a long day at work. Joanne, I've said this before and I'll say this again, your writing is flawless. Your imagination is amazing and I think you are very lucky to be gifted with this awesome style and flair. I particulary like "dip my thoughts beneath the snow", because the phrase is so serene and unique. Thanks for taking me away for a few minutes - to dance with drangflies. I'm so glad you posted this. My best, DeniMari	2004-02-12 18:54:54
HeartCircles	Rebecca Lee	In essesnce you can find love, after love again. This poem is very unique and it's that quality that made this special to read. It has a special twist to it, in my opinion because I never thought the beginning verse was leading to relationships. I like how you pull it all together in the second verse "the ending always tasted sour", very good description and "black heart pieces cut and hurled", as if the heart was burned in the relationship. I think this piece flows well, and the ending is bittersweet. The writer is taking the best memories on to the future without a care or thought - just happy in what was once in their life. What a great message to send out - hope and peace and resolve that if love is lost - it can be found again. Thanks for posting this. DeniMari	2004-02-11 21:47:25
Fear	Sergio M chavez	I think this poem addresses every self esteem issue I can imagine. "Paronia" comes to my mind, of someones restless thoughts about what others may be thinking and saying behind their backs. People can be so cruel, quick to judge and can cause others heartache by relentlessly picking at others. I'm not sure if this is fiction or not, but if not I think the person described in this piece is haunted by all of these thoughts. Your poem is stark, and rings of a tortured soul. Good luck, thanks for posting, DeniMari	2004-02-07 21:46:30
The Pixilated Puppet	Robert L Tremblay	Dear Robert, This piece is amazing and has a nice rhyming scheme. It's more complex than I'm used to reading, although all of your work is extremely perplexing to me. (This is not meant as an insult), rather I can't compete, to this style of writing - but in reality find it enjoyable to read. You are talented, and these stories come alive in my mind with the unusual imagery you use. Thumbs up - on all of your poems for you sir are in a league of your own. best to you, DeniMari	2004-02-07 18:37:49
Beautiful Nature	Robin Ann Crandell	Hi Robin, Have you been reading Harlequin romance novels (smile) -- of course you've written this with your own feelings, but I'm feeling like I was reading an excerpt of a love novel - which is good - the feelings shared between two people as described in your poem is the ultimate in love. Good job. DeniMari	2004-02-07 17:08:06
I Sit Here	Robin Ann Crandell	Dear Robin, I'm able to easily relate to this piece - it's very thought inspiring and easy to read. The following verse had the most impact on me - sending out the message that we are responsible and able to fulfill our dreams if we really want to - alone without help from anyone. We know we learn from mistakes, and the worst of what happens to us does tend to make us stronger. You've said it in an imaginative and creative way. I sit here in the peacefulness of my own self I am here at the expense of nothing I accept everything that happens in My lifetime even if it is for the worst I will be stronger then my weakest link I will accomplish my dreams I will accomplish them on my own Your poem is very good and there is nothing I would do to change it. Thank you for a really nice read. DeniMari	2004-02-07 17:01:41
A Disturbing Poem	Robin Ann Crandell	Dear Robin, Even though this poem is filled with blood and gore- it was still an enjoyable poem for me to read. I have to admit - I felt a little spooked, especially with the ending "look behind you", and I see no need for you to apologize for the content of the piece - (We wouldn't expect Steven King - to apologize would we?). There isn't anything I would do to change this - except for last line of first stanza - I think you meant to type "justify your evil ways", other than that I wish you the best with it.	2004-01-26 20:25:02
Blazing Mustang	Robert L Tremblay	This poem is absolutely incredible; it is a work of pure art. It's more than just a poem, it's also a picture in text - and I stand amazed at the creativity of it. Your style of writing is unique and quite different than I'm used to reading so I have to hold back on my critique of the content in this poem. It's above my level of expertise so I'll leave that for the pros on this site. I will say you do have a natural talent for writing and your gift needs to be exposed where ever possible. Best of luck to you, Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-01-12 07:02:59
Goblet	C Arrownut	I really enjoyed your poem. It makes me think that the population is divided into two - those of us who shop with some amount of dignity - and those who leave items scattered in the isles of stores. Isn't it amazing - how the holiday drives people to behave the way you described so creatively? I particularly like your 5th verse - "out of nothing "it" erupts, like a volcano - a spontaneus event that occurs out of nowhere - then on to the next verse where one has to run away from it - great imagery. This piece flows well and artisticly describes the "horror" we all have to endure - out and about shopping at Christmas time. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-01-06 19:02:00
Tinkerbell was a Bitch	madge B zaiko	Hi, This piece is full of anger, the reader is fully aware that the writer is deeply bitter and is finding some release through the words expressed in this poem. The reader is also aware of the pain, the kind of disbelief one feels at being the fool in a love situation. It seems the writer "patterned" themselves to be what they thought they needed to be in order to make someone else happy. We should all take note of this, it never works - I'm all for following your own spirit - and conform to no one elses idea of who you should be. I enjoyed reading this, I think a lot of people we'll relate to this - does anyone escape painful relationships? Good luck. Sincerely, DeniMari	2004-01-04 15:33:42
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by DeniMari Z.	Critique Date

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