Marsha Steed's E-Mail Address: poeticlink@chantaclair.com
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Marsha Steed has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Marsha Steed	Critique Date
The Real Me	Rene L Bennett	Rene, when a poet offers so much of themselves in a piece, it makes it difficult to critique it in an unaffected and grammatical manner. This is one of those pieces. Instead, I'll offer impressions and what it elicits in me, a simple reader. Sometimes that is what the purpose of poetry is after all, to connect beings who have no other connection otherwise. I think we have all felt 'alone' and un-understood at times. Inside each of us seems to be a place where we feel no one really 'gets'. I know I do. "I'm afraid Scared inside Yet, my feelings I well hide" This section is so easy to relate to. Don't we all wear masks of sorts? Ones we put on in the morning and wear through our daily lives so that no one really gets a chance to 'know' us as we truly are? Again, I know I do. "As I weep Alone at night" Since my divorce, time has healed much of the weeping, but I well know those times, the silence engulfing my pain and the feeling that there wasn't a soul on the earth I could turn to. It is a very dark and frightening place. "Those who read The words I write Share the secrets Of my fright" Isn't this the crux of WHY we write at all? I know for me, writing was my balm. It was my healing ointment when nothing else would help. In 'person' I had to keep up appearances, go on with day-to-day events and responsibilities, but when I put words on paper (cyber pixels?) I could be honest to my agonizing heart. This is the beauty of poetry. Somehow we can share, what we can not vocalize. . . and it helps. You are not alone. M	2007-10-24 08:43:11
Healing Prayer	DeniMari Z.	First, let me offer warmth and condolences. While words from a stranger are hardly a balm, perhaps for a moment a gentle hug and a heartfelt 'I'm so very sorry for your loss', may offer a tender solace. I can not imagine your pain. The poem is rich with your anguished cries. It can be a gift to others in your place of agony. Even in your own despair, you reach out with assurance to others who may be hurting. It is a wonderful thing. It is difficult to step back and 'critique' something this tender. "A place where I can go, only I will know Who I will find there, in your constant care." - perhaps leaving out the 'ands' will make it more poignant. "A place where I can go and only I will know Who I will find there and in your constant care." "Find" - used twice in close proximity, perhaps discover? instead? "Who I will discover there in your constant care. Lend to me oh Lord a few days without tears, A moment I can find to ease my anguished mind." "Lend to me oh Lord your hand for me to hold," - So very tender rich with imagery and hope. "A night of perfect rest and the feeling I am blessed, No matter what should come,to know your standing with my son." - Gorgeous sentiment. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully rich prayer. MSteed	2007-10-24 08:34:26
Afterglow (an Etheree)	Mary J Coffman	Hello Mary. What is an Etheree? I'm completely curious. You begin sweetly, succincly, but with a traditional image that still proves able to pull the thoughts inward. Who doesn't wish to imagine wonderful things? Dream of all that their heart can conjur? The continuing lines only build on that image with sweet soft words of 'sigh' and 'subtle'. "Intemperate phantasy" - moves beyond that to a new place. I actually liked the spelling of 'phantasy', others may think differently. Next you go from 'subtle' to the more fantastic images with 'apparition' and 'Terpsichore's nocturnal ballet'. Since I have medals in the Terpsichore Ballroom Dance society, that image definately hit home with this reader. "Implicit repose" However, was, I think, my best duet. Sweet reflection on a universal experience. M	2005-11-06 20:02:35
Cycle	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial, This is a sad lament. Born without a chance. . . so indicative of too many. Taking your inner lines in tandem, we get: come and be my dove what America means burning with desire for often born without a chance babies That says something in and of itself. An inner message surrounded by plethory.. (I'm sure others have pointed out the typo of "youthfuol instead of youthful".) Babies/ babies Born/ Born Duplicates your meaning and punches the continuing difficulties we face. One other technical comment, in the first stanza, the syntax is incorrect. "I lift my head from the palms of my hands and extend them to you" Says that you are extending your head, for that is the subject. Identifying them would make it correct: I lift my head from the palms of my hands and open my grasp to you Or some such. Your passion comes through clearly. (and I love the font, what is it?) M	2005-11-04 12:56:56
My Other Passion	stephen g skipper	Stephen, as I scooted along your jaunty piece, the sun basked and the pavement skittered. Charming usage of more decade-related nomenclature with Mod and ska, wigans and two-stroke. "Celtic soul brother" dances through the vocal scale with a playful aire. Music to ride to. Isn't this really what the whole piece is about? Made-up words like "Scooterist" gives the carefree feeling validation and even a little playful swat. Tapestry is a fabric word however, it sort of stuck out for me in your music/ chrome world. Perhaps Symphony or Concert or something? Iconic styling indeed. M	2005-11-04 12:42:48
Gloomy Days	Kimberly A Butterworth	Kimberly, my favourite stanza was: Leave the summer for the shallow, The thoughtless vain, And superficially hollow. For me, this could absolutely stand alone. What a wonderful image, of all the summer-time activities, they are mostly indeed shallow and pleasure-seeking. My favourite season is also fall, and I think you have touched upon the exact reason why. Gray sky filled with candor, - succulant. There is a depth to the fog and the rain, the greyness and the thoughtful still. The witchy feel of change in the air brings me home to who I am as well. It sounds as if you have the same feelings, yet you put them into verse. Nice that. The font is beautiful, but a little difficult to read, perhaps if it was made bold? M	2005-11-04 09:45:09
No Glory	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	You begin with 'no glory' and follow it through the three stanzas. Personally I enjoy the symmetry of this form. Immediately you echo the sad declaration with a word that echoes . . . 'hollow and empty'. Your ending lines are strong and filled with meaning. lust for their devotion./victims of the obvious./palter with reality. It balances out the repeated opening nicely. I particularly was drawn to: wind no stronger than an honest voice - If we see truth, we manipulate it, - Both memorable in and of themselves. Your mocking quibble ends your piece without peace. No glory indeed, and the sadness is evidenced by the incongruencies of reality. Well done. M	2005-11-04 09:29:28
Solitude	laura j dean	"My wrinkles are relaxing". What a fabulous way to turn a reader into an entire mind-set. That is after all the goal of a poet, to say much with little. You succeeded grandly in this. Interesting dichotomy between your message, Solitude, and the 'noisy' words like 'momentum, shove, banter, scores (Implicating a noisy sports event) repeating, and invasiveness'. "This room is too full of stillness. . ." What a lovely image to surround ones self with, the clamour of our 'everyday' does need to be purposefully and intentionally allayed. "All will have to" is a touch passive in this impassioned poem. "All must. . ." might be a firmer declaration. Any derivation of the verb 'to be' tends to weaken a statement. I can feel my own 'wrinkles relax' just at the shared permission you offer. Kudos. M	2005-11-04 09:19:32
Curtain Call	Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Nancy, I certainly hope this is not autobiographical. What a sweet but sad refrain to a life that apparently was rich in texture and lyric artistic choreography. You begin with the 'ah-ee' sounds of 'time' and 'nigh' and 'I'. All are high and nasalish in the head-voice and then softening quickly to 'a (&)' in 'shan't' and 'dance'. Moving further down the vocal register, as if the life itself was slowly diminishing, you slip into the longer 'ahs' of 'harsh' 'stark' 'heart' and 'scant' ending finally on the longest and lowest sounds of 'awl' and 'oh' of 'melancholic' and the slow long dulcet rhapsody; Brilliant work with the sounds of the piece directly indicating the meaning. The words themselves are wonderfully descriptive and offer images of a life well-lived and gracefully slowing. Sympathies combine with 'labored' and 'scant' and lastly 'melancholic'. All of this is tied so closely to the title, where your choices fulfill the image of the stage with the related imagery of curtains/ dance/ voice/ lyric/ rhythm and rhapsody. Each word relates to a stage performance. I do wonder, if you are not going to use periods, is it incongruent to use commas? It was slightly distracting to have partial punctuation but not complete punctuation. Very well done here, and if indeed it is a personal whisper, oh my . . . what a brave and heart-felt offering. M	2005-11-03 12:43:20
Tuscany	Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.	This could be a song Medard. I've a huge penchent for Tuscany (Even have a Travel forum by that name!) This delighted and enchanted me. 'Dream awake' and 'Register gloom', 'Bound to this room' and 'welcome me home' and 'annoying repose' all take the reader on a journey of long slow basking chimera of incongruous parts. This is both a fantasia and a lament. Your images are rich and succulant. Captivating. M	2005-11-02 23:08:40
Until Next Year	marilyn terwilleger	Fun it was. In critiquing poetry sometimes it is hard work! The brain often slips into a mode where eruditism takes over the emotion. This piece made me smile and even chuckle just a little as I listened to Thunder speaking German (seemed the best tongue for the situation!) and watched the trees stretch out their knarled limbs. "Madded rivers rage" and "belching beasts" were simply Tim Burtonesque. The perfectly lingering ending. . . "Until next year" left the witchy feel of the season hovering close. One suggestion I'd offer, is that putting the ellipsis before AND after the ending weakens it in my estimation. Truth be told, I missed it completely the first read-through. Delightful seasonal bit. M	2005-10-28 14:09:34
Crossroads	stephen g skipper	Rich and succulant is this piece with a decidely European flair. Your word choices are copisetic and complimentary to the feel of mysticism begun with the Awen transluscence. The only word that I might suggest doesn't quite measure up to the rest of your delicious offerings is the very last, 'quietly'. Somehow it seems just too ordinary and is almost like letting the air out of a balloon. Others may think differently, but that is the richness of many critiques, getting the feel and imput of differing experiences. I do believe my favourite lines are your second: "Last breath sharp yet shallow, carrying with it all that was me" - The paradox was moving, and the emotion suggested was allowed to be, rather than extracted. Lovely that. M	2005-10-28 14:01:20
try again- Wild Daisies	laura j dean	Greetings, This piece elicits both emotion and thought. It is a powerful piece that can pull a reader into a scene without the hitches that firmly flounce them back in their seat before it is through. Without telling exactly what we are to feel, you make the reader feel. Suggestions would include to look over some of your word-choices and perhaps rethink some that may be tired or not quite hitting the spot you were aiming for. For me, an example would be "Allowed to cascade down her back the mane speaks when her mouth is tight" - So many instances of describing lovely hair use these very images. Reach for something new and fresh and your meaning will simply sizzle. This: "A wild mass of brown hair breaks free from the hard lessons learned in docility" - is exactly what I mean. This reaches out and captures thought instead of allowing old cliche' to settle comfortably around like a fog of familiarity. Very intriguing work. MS	2005-10-28 12:46:28
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Marsha Steed	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 13 out of 13 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Marsha Steed's Poetry just Click Here.

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