Cara-Mae D. Hackett's E-Mail Address: vitalessenc3@gmail.com
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Cara-Mae D. Hackett | Critique Date |
| Ted | Mark Andrew Hislop | I'll be honest, I didn't really get into the tone of your piece until here: "I call your spade a stolen fuck: Black blackness of the end of time But not the slightest bit silent One big bang, your universe A dead and empty passion Proud dead probing flesh" Though there is only one part I would change above that, the fact that I didn't really get into it immediately does in no way reflect upon what you wrote... I especially was taken with your ending: "I never did smoke Until I burned for you." And I love how it ties in with your line of needing a cigarette :> There's a lot of smouldering emotions represented here which I appreciate as a reader. How else could you draw one in, without this enticement? Even if I do not fully understand what inspiration has brought you to this place - I can still quiver as I read. Really the only area which I would suggest looking at is here: "I kiss your work as I destroy it As I cannot choose but to destroy it I hold it to my heart." I am not keen on the repetition of the word destroy appearing so close to one another. Instead of the 2nd destroy, the word that keeps coming to my mind is "abhor", though that's not a synonym for "destory" it's what keeps coming to my mind, so I had to include it in this critique. Also, though slightly unrelated, the imagery of the dog, pumping was disturbing and funny at the same time because it made me think of the way dogs in heat hump ppl's legs. | 2004-05-04 09:57:46 |
| organ-i | Regis L Chapman | This poem gave me a sense of longing and the idea that you fear you've lost something intangible when I think that the feeling behind the poem is the acknowledgement that the intangibile part is not lost, for it were, you would not ask the questions, or fear that it was gone. fav part: "and send your mind away to those places found by saints and sages" I think as time moves forward, many ppl (mostly the more "artsy" type) can identify with the questioning and longing and confusion expressed succiently in this piece because we are all experiencing it in our own ways. Comment on this line: "already I know the barren plain of irony" I tend to use the phrase "barren plain" quite a bit myself, but I often feel I am being somewhat redundant as I always envision a plain being barren. Perhaps instead of using plain, try "steppe" as in "barren steppe of irony" or instead of "barren" try "desolate" or "impotent" as in "desolate plain of irnoy" or "impotent plain of irony". I enjoyed this being the first poem I've critiqued here in years. | 2004-05-04 09:44:10 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Cara-Mae D. Hackett | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Cara-Mae D. Hackett's Poetry just Click Here.