Molly Johnson's E-Mail Address: mollyj@nas.com

So far 709 People have Entered a Personal Profile on The Poetic Link! Click Here to see the rest of them or to Add your Own Personal Profile Now!

Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Molly Johnson has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Molly Johnson	Critique Date
For The Dreamer	stephen g skipper	Hey Steven, I can tell that you're expressing very earnest feelings in this piece. I wish your images were less general and really gave me the uique flavor of the speaker's dream like love. I want to know more about why the speaker adores the subject. You might pick one of the things in the dream and spin more specific images around it so we could know the love of the speaker for the subject it a different way. I think the flower gem stanza has the strongest base image. Start there and tell us what you see from the inside of this relationship that might ring true for us too. It's possible that you meant this as an ode. If so, think about honoring the subject with real descriptions that show how you adore the details that compose the dream. Hope this makes sense and is a little helpful. Good luck with this piece. Mollyj	2005-02-11 16:20:39
Hanging at Home	Mick Fraser	This piece was cause for lively discussion at my house. My husband says it's clearly meant to be performance poetry with props and everything and I say it's meant to be political expose but the ideas were so deeply burried under the imagery that it just appears theatrical. We read it aloud three times before I went to your profile to see if it said anything about performance art. I have to say Mick, I laughed and laughed at your profile. I'll exerpt it here in case you forgot what you wrote: Mick Fraser's Profile: Mick is a man that likes simple poems with meaningful messages. Go ahead and write long missives...I have a delete button. I am looking forward to learning more about poetry. There is one thing I can say definatively about your piece; it's not simple. E-mail me and I'd be happy to serve a critique on your profile for you. All that aside, here's some thoughts on the piece. The first line sets an interesting contradiction for your poem. If hypothetical situations are real, how real or hypothetial is what you're about to say? The rest of the stanza sets a location for the poem but I think it serves best as an internal location the smudgy darkness is always fertile ground for political thoughts. Second stanza is easiest to pull actual meaning from. The pools/sludge/swimmingly/struggle has nice sound to it. I wonder if souls really struggle in it? Souls struggling implies a moral struggle that I'm not sure is actually present in the situation. Hmmmm something to think about. I start to get a sense of the value struggle in the next line but then I get lost in the sausage makers. In the end I'm grossed out enough by the image that it doesn't hold the thread of the idea. The construct of the lines makes it unclear whether the ideas or the sausage makers are being squished up my lower canal. Either way, ewww, and then there's the peanut butter. If you meant it to be a light moment, it works. I suggest a line break in front of political peanut butter to effect even more pause. In the last stanza, the cure (laxatives and enemas, yuck) and then the anti-cure(media) and then ??? I get that Jim-Bob is distracted from the realities that the poem explores but the tobacco issue seems the wrong place to leave this political piece. I wonder if leaving Jim-Bob hung on the salad spinner is inane enough? Well my two cents turned into ten pennies for sure. Probably because I had such an interesting time interacting with this piece. Thanks. mollyj	2004-07-15 13:40:43
Trust	Jacob W Roberts	Jacob, What an amazing sense of sound this piece has. Because of the appearance on the page, my brain wanted to make this a sonnet and before I even got to counting lines your internal rhymes and onomatopoeic (sp) constructs grabbed me. I love that the sounds emulate a crackling fire. Because of the run-on nature of the lines, you might want to re-think the formality of the capitalization. In line eigth, you might want to look at taking "firewood" out. It might be implicit enough. Thanks for the interesting read. mollyj	2004-07-14 16:18:24
Wick of Christ	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, The wax winged Icarian themes in this peice are exquisite. It creates a real tension between the father and son imagery and blends legend and myth into experience. Well done you. Favorite stanza is the second one for its masterful imagery and the active resistance of the feathers. Fantastic moment and sense of place. And then, ther's the inevitable fall. Really the only problematic part of the poem for me is the first stanza , I think because there is a creepy sexual connotation to "did not reach beneath my sheets". It's a strange thing to remark on in the opening lines and my brain keps trying to make the poem about that small moment. If that's what you meant to do, good job. If it's not, you might want to think about the connotation a bit. It's probably just me. Really an epic piece. Bravo! mollyj	2004-07-14 16:02:47
Winona, from the High Cliff	Thomas Edward Wright	What a startling story with haunting voice and imagery. The image of trickling cream from the crystal to wash his feet with her hair is so evocative and lusterous, it's clearly my favorite moment in the poem. I think because crystal and cream are both refeninements of natural things. There are some tense issues that jerk the poem around. That might be a choice you made or it might be accidnetal, just think about what it might do if you shift the whole piece into future or past tense. Interesting read for sure. mollyJ	2004-07-08 14:07:48
Jing Ye Si (A Quiet Evening) Chinese Translation	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, I don't really know how to critique a translation but I really really like it. The simplicity is completely earnest. I once did a workshop with David Lee and he brought in a Chinese poem and stepped us through the translation, showing us the subtle dualities to the Chinese characters. When we were done we had two very different interpretations. Chinese is such a wealthy language, thanks for sharing your skill. mollyj	2004-07-08 13:38:50
The Perseids Are Coming	Joanne M Uppendahl	Hi Joanne! I can always count on you for the sky report. I really enjoyed the descriptions in this piece and there's something journalisitc yet still poetic in the presentation. You spill nicely from one stanza to the next with sound and imagery. The asonant pairings ad an unexpected charm and nostalgia to the piece. I love that there is a misty flavor and a sense of circular history. Nice job. The only stumbling I had was I couldn't figure out how to say perseids aloud. I had to laugh at myself while trying. Cheers! MollyJ	2004-06-30 15:09:06
Phaedrus Throws Stones	G. Donald Cribbs	D, I loved that book. I read it in a darkened hotel room in the south of Spain when the sun was too hot to bear. It's funny how the things you need from a book step out of the pages. His discussions (mad though they were) on quality, hover around me as a writer and a teacher. If I thought I could name quality I'd point my finger at this poem. I find the duality in this poem really it's most interesting aspect: spring/fall, East/West, man/woman, cold/hot, earth/sky, journey/destination. The balance is achieved withot the feeling that it was forcced. There's that and the wonderful imagery. I'm a big fan of the compound adjective so my favorite image is of the leaves in their death-brillance. Nicely done. Thanks for the great read. Molly J	2004-06-30 14:47:12
To the Man Reading Melville on the Beach	Thomas Edward Wright	Thomas, I think I heard the very same radio piece. I think too that there was an interview with the currator of the Joyce museum advising all of us who couldn't get past the first chapters to skip Steven and we'd be fine. How can it be the finest book ever written and no one has read it? I feel a literature lover's guilt at not being able to complete the epic. On to your poem: What I like most it the litany and repetition. I think they were artfully used to make a point and convey the annoyance (sp). The moments of humor in your narrative are smart and witty. At first I wasn't sold on the actual shape of the poem but it has the nature of an epic wander and I'm a fan of the choice now. As far as advice goes, you might take a look at the first stanza. Although it has a very Tell Tale Heart quality, some of your later lines serve the same purpose and placing the poem. The heaat is really in the later parts of the piece. What might it do to drop off that first stanza altogether? Just something to think about. Good luck and thanks for sharing, MollyJ	2004-06-27 00:54:09
The Dust of Worms	G. Donald Cribbs	D, What a spectacular cause! I enjoy how you revel in the minutae (sp) and find myself in awe of the elevation of your subject through language. Favorite lines: "I devour earth, minerals, filaments of light, pass these through a fiery, tendriled body." What gorgeous imagery. The elemental nature of these lines lends cement to what you are doing as a writer. Nice juxtaposition of delicate images and substantial content. "Down in the stalks of gathered water I posture hands, bend to the hardened womb, turn to eat the placenta now worn at my feet." I like the imagery in these lines as well but I find them a little more difficult to hold. I do however like the balance of the reverent posturing and the implication of the scavenger nature of the speaker. The movemnet to the perspective of the worms is an interesting shift. It is what comes next and I can feel the distance between rivers. Really interesting work. Thanks for sharing. Molly J	2004-06-27 00:33:54
Alabaster Angel Wings	Wayne R. Leach	What a scary piece of writing. The grapic sounds and textures really put us in the place of this poem. I geuss I would say that journeys so dramtic really need to demand the reader follow. In the first stanza there is a sense that the speaker is following a spirit on the journey but then we lose that thread. Maybe a narrative choice to re-cycle to the spirit guide might call the reader back to the journey, sort of make it as imparative for us as it is for the speaker? Or maybe illustarting the need for the alabaster angel wings would work? My favorite stanza is really the fourth with the hair and bone. It's the one where I can clearly see the contrast between the anguish and the purity. Scary stuff. Good luck! Molly J.	2004-06-24 18:34:49
The Cancer of Tropics	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, I like the structure and the litany of this piece. The repetition serves a really appropriate purpose here. I also like how the details help to locate the poem. Some lines are more effective than others. For instance "pandemic of arrogant lassitde" although it's wordy, really says something meaty whereas "a place where time goes to die" is verging on cliche for me. My favorite line is the "endless rising canon of me" because of the action and the entende. It's so sexual and literary which is very appropriate for this muggy poem. My advice: look back through the litany and pick only the power players. Good luck! Molly J.	2004-06-24 14:47:08
Rainbow Blues	DeniMari Z.	When I read this poem I'm drawn by the strident voice. There's some sort of urgency here that made me try and try again and then try aloud to tease the meaning. The humor of the courtesy counter is fresh. I also like the funky places of internal rhyme. You invited me into the visual images of the stars and sand but I still can't hold the meaning with any certainty which leaves me unsatified because the writing is good enough to be about something big. Maybe the author's eyes see intentions and connections and maybe I'm slow today. Regardless, I enjoyed the verve in this piece. Good Luck, MollyJ	2004-05-21 19:15:20
Photograph	Edwin John Krizek	What a tragic little rememberance. I usually feel like the "I" in poems is implicit and can be done away with but I liked the long plaintive sounds of "I stare, I sought, I still, I remember etc." I like it enough as a pattern to suggest leaving off the very first line. It might also enhance the repetitive emphasis of you ignore that the time is framing your stanzas and let the repitition frame it instead. I alsp think it's important to "see" her with the speaker but I wanted to see more of her uniqueness in the description. If the longing heart wants for anything, it's a metaphor. Good Luck! MollyJ	2004-05-21 19:02:23
Freeway Lemons	Jillian K Sorenson	You know the title of this poem is a homerun hit. It generates a real curiosity and opens the door for an intriguing comparrison. You have some interesting contrasting imagery between the unexpectedly bitter and bright. As advice for this poem I would say a few things. You've placed us in the emotional moment but this poem seems like it has a physical moment that should speak as loud. In the morning , show me the subject is joyful and beautiful. What does it look like? Also you might want to think a little about the pronouns. The "I" can be implicit in places and if you can work it out of the poem, it may open the poem up for the reader to experience the moments. See what it does to the poem to take out the "you" and put in "he". I know it's an intensely personal moment but by making it a mental conversation between two people you risk shutting the reader out. That said, I'm carzy about the essence and the skin of this poem. You have some really pungent power players here. Good Luck MollyJ	2004-05-21 12:16:22
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Molly Johnson	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 15 out of 15 Total Critiques.

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