This Poem was Submitted By: Robert L Tremblay On Date: 2003-10-11 17:02:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Mountain Man's Mystic Missive

                                               Mountain                        man, asleep on granite tomb, in                                                              crumbled,  creviced           craters, not forever – how are you within                                            New Hampshire’s sky bin?  Dust to dust, they say.  And, you?     What?                             Never?  Sightless scarecrows stumble, tiptoed tightly, humbled     by an                            image, now nocturnal, seared by   youthful candles once lit brightly,  long                          ago  when passions              flared eternal.  Twenty thousand years   before                              the Christ’s  mend, glaciers than receded, not revealing   sculpted visage                            till the native’s  legend whispered, northward ,      stood a facial, peeling.                          Brooks and Whitcomb        surveyed such within year Eighteen hundred,                                Five,   this duly dated, but,   too, man, like         mountain, dust to                                dust clear, into time’s  dustbin,       oft berated.           Millions died -                      through     Eighteen  -  Twelve in session, into Civil War, before the                  Maine’s jar, Yankee  Doodle Dandy, the Depression, World War II,              Korean, Vietnam      War.  But, the mountain   man remained, relieving,            braced by   Geggs and lasted - frozen – eighty, countered using wires and          rods, believing  human  will  and Nature’s   force are matey.  Nielsons’ ratings,                            in the sixties,  started,   first, with Niels, proceded by son, David. But.                     for all the Nielsons’ labors,  warted, Mountain Man collapsed. and, with it,                   knaved Id.  Third of May,     Two thousand – Three, the ending, nose and                                  forehead,                absent, found at daylight, Grand ol’ Man in                   Mountain gone,  not pending, buried under granite bones near midnight.                    Dawn arising, spotlight dimmed, awaking to the cyclic and eternal                   motion of galactic bodies, seen           forsaking due the sightless                 scarecrows’ prideful notion.  Lady, bared, Godiva – mankind,                naked; both, ashamed, not, of a watchful witness, real or not,               perhaps; but, such is sacred to imagine of    creation’s  fitness.             What is this?  Attentive sense, alerting,     drawing  mind’s                      awareness                 toward  the   portal.  Bush in wildness                                                   blaring madness, flirting with the Fates!  Queue,                                                  Mister. Bush?  “Immortal?”  Not so, Mister Bush,                                                in spite of power.  All to all, in dust, the mountain’s                                               missive; for, if Mountain Man can come to cower, who                                               be you, to question God, dismissive? To read with ease;                                  Mountain man, asleep on granite tomb, in                                                             Crumbled, creviced craters, not forever –                                   How are you within New Hampshire’s sky bin?                                    Dust to dust, they say.  And, you?  What?  Never?                                    Sightless scarecrows stumble, tiptoed tightly,                                   Humbled by an image, now nocturnal,                                   Seared by   youthful candles once lit brightly,                                    Long ago  when passions flared eternal.                                    Twenty thousand years before the Christ’s  mend,                                   Glaciers than receded, not revealing                                     Sculpted visage till the native’s  legend                                   Whispered, northward , stood a facial, peeling.                                    Brooks and Whitcomb surveyed such within year                                   Eighteen hundred - Five, this duly dated,                                   But, too, man, like mountain, dust to dust clear,                                   Into time’s chilled dustbin, oft berated.                                             Millions died through Eighteen  -  Twelve in session,                                   Into Civil War, before the Maine’s jar,                                   Yankee Doodle Dandy, the Depression,                                   World War II, Korean, Vietnam War.                                    But, the mountain   man remained, relieving,                                  Braced by   Geggs and lasted - frozen – eighty,                                   Countered using wires and rods, believing                                    Human will and Nature’s force are matey.                                    Nielsons’ ratings, in the sixties, started,                                     First, with Niels, proceded by son, David.                                   But. for all the Nielsons’ labors, warted,                                   Mountain Man collapsed. and, with it, knaved Id.                                    Third of May, Two thousand – Three, the ending,                                   Nose and forehead, absent, found at daylight,                                   Grand ol’ Man in Mountain gone, not pending,                                   Buried under granite bones near midnight.                                  Dawn arising, spotlight dimmed, awaking                                   To the cyclic and eternal motion                                   Of galactic bodies, seen  forsaking                                   Due the sightless scarecrows’ prideful notion.                                    Lady, bared, Godiva – mankind, naked;                                   Both, ashamed, not, of a watchful witness,                                   Real or not, perhaps; but, such is sacred                                   To imagine of creation’s  fitness.                                               What is this?  Attentive sense, alerting,                                       Drawing  mind’s awareness toward  the portal.                                    Bush in wildness blaring madness, flirting                                   With the Fates!  Queue, Mister. Bush?  “Immortal?”                                                                     Not so, Mister Bush, in spite of power.                                    All to all, in dust, the mountain’s missive;                                   For, if Mountain Man can come to cower, who                                  Be you, to question God, dismissive?                                                                          

Copyright © October 2003 Robert L Tremblay

Additional Notes:
Well, it's been a while. Just completed after two days of labor. Normal format is at the bottom of the image. Again, should be viewed with full screen. Bobby T.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2003-11-06 19:48:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81250
Hi Bobby, This one has an extremely pertinent message, considering what's happening in this crazy world right now. Nobody's immortal, of course, and the power-driven are as prone to collapse as that stone face in the mountain. I'd read about this event, but have never actually see the mounatin man's stony visage. His loss, though, is no doubt still being mourned by those living in the area. "New Hampshire's sky bin" is a great metaphor, as the fragments end up trashed like dust swept before a vast and invisible broom. You pick up the comparison again with "time's chilled dustbin" in S4. "Buried under granite bones" is a vivid image. meanwhile, you present a capsule summary of decades and even centuries, each with its own violent associations. All things must pass; conflicts are resolved or just peter out, and the earth's shape changes beneath implacable forces of weather and gravity. Pentameter is nicely sustained, a complex task which I'd find daunting. You do shift from iambic to trochaic in spots, but that's actuallyu a positive, because it gets away from any danger of singsong style: "Dawn arising, spotlight dimmed, awaking" or "Lady, bared, Godiva – mankind, naked". These are arresting lines anyway, and the metrical reversal just adds to their impact. Wish I had more time but I don't; however, I do want to commend you on this most tricky effort. It can't be easy to marry format and text into a single entity; one or the other would seem to be destined to suffer, but neither does in this case. My Best, Brenda


This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-10-15 20:10:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Bobby, What a creative artistry! I can feel this is tedious to do... the structuring, the sculturing of a man's face! But you nade it as if with no trace of tiredness or uneasiness, huh! This is not a haiku, nor a diamante, nor a villanelle and so on....but this seems to stand to have a magical structure. That is greatly appreciated! Oh, thanks for writing it in a normal structure for an easy read! I can conceptualize it using the structure and I can comprehend it more using the normal format. This is about a man's spiritual letter containing his mysticism. The twelve stanzas are more than enough to bruite out the details of man's involvement in any field in which he lives. The activities are detailed by associating the dates in which the state of events are happening. I think there is a question on the man's relation to God, to his spiritual participation. I like the way the title goes, the 'm' sound is just wonderful to read with Mountain/Man's/Mystic/Missive, it sounds mmmm... as in "man"! Just a thought! Mountain man, asleep on granite tomb, in --[the description of a 'granite' seems to reinforce masculinity. Crumbled, creviced craters, not forever – ---['c' sound alliterates wonderfully adding to the mystical implication] How are you within New Hampshire’s sky bin? ---[New Hampshire is the place? Interesting!] Dust to dust, they say. And, you? What? Never? ---[the inclusion of the questions creates a great impact.] The imagery in the second stanza is vivid with the association of the youthful candles and the passion flaring up! Energetic in effect! Sightless scarecrows stumble, tiptoed tightly, --[I couldn't skip to mention the hissing sound 's' and the 't'] But, too, man, like mountain, dust to dust clear, The likening of the man to a mountain here suggests that the power that the man wants to hold, it seems to give an idea that man is trying to prove himself strong and forceful that he can do better to go beyond in performance, to be the top of everyone. This mountain even surpassed the war, he was the survivor and stands great. This are significant lines that reinforced the thought: Braced by Geggs and lasted - frozen – eighty, Countered using wires and rods, believing Human will and Nature’s force are matey The mountain man tried to control the forces of nature believing that he and the nature are friends or matey. But there is an end to everything, the mountain is not immortal. He is mountainous in his power but he is subject to limitations and God is who the ultimate Mountain Man Who can live forever more than a mountain can withstand its stay in this world. Thank you so much for this great piece, Bobby! The message is profound and universal. Best regards, Jordan Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-13 12:27:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Simply adore the fact alone that you are so knowledgable and that you are sharing such knowledge with us here at the link. It has taken time and energy just to sculpture the creation of words you have presented here in the form of the Man in the Mountains and living here in New England it is well appreciated and at the same time sadness takes a bend too for the man is now gone.......yet thousands now flock to see where he once was......your structure being well done allows your words to flow bringing forth images for each one to see, feel, and even share. I also like the fact you printed out the poem in form which is much easier for those with poor eyesight to read. As always Tom it is nice to find your work here. Be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-10-11 18:38:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57143
Hi Robert, A lot of work went into this poem. The subject, man thinking he can out-do God or His will, is presented well (with the help of the old man of the mountain) and as each time period is presented, and each man tries to fight nature, the lesson is clear. Won't work! What we do is always temporary, as is the earth (and universe)and all things in it. Only God is eternal. The poem is rhymed well, the 10 syllable meter is mostly consistant. The images are clear, vivid and the message isn't pedantic. The history of the "old Man" was interesting to me, as I'd had no idea that so many people tried to stop the forces of nature. NH holds the spot that has held my heart all of my life, so the poem hold doubble interest for me. I don't know how you managed to make the face of the Old Man, but it is impressive to me. Thanks for this poem, Rene
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