This Poem was Submitted By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-06-15 19:05:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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I Know You Love Me The warm laughter pours
out of our lives
and settles like confetti
on the living room floor.
Our touching and rubbing
remind me of sunbathing
nude on a summer day.
Your face radiates in my consciousness
and I wonder when it happened that
thoughts of you replaced the demons.
I know you love me
I have waited a long time
for this feeling.
I had it once, as a child,
and wondered as I traveled
if I would ever find
happiness like you’ve shown me;
wondered if the pain would ever stop;
wondered if there was justice
in the world.
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Copyright © June 2004 Edwin John Krizek
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-07-03 10:13:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.04545
I enjoyed and related with this poem. I really liked this part:
“I wonder when it happened that
thoughts of you replaced the demons.”
It made me want to get up and yell, “Yeah, that is so cool!”
This part confused me a little:
“Our touching and rubbing
remind me of sunbathing
nude on a summer day.”
I don’t see how laying nude in the sun, which is a still and solitary thing to do, can relate to “touching and rubbing”. I’ve sunbathed nude and I’ve felt daring and naughty. Perhaps you mean it that way and I’m getting hung up on stillness verses movement. I read the poem again, trying to see it from just the feelings of the acts, but it still tripped me. This is a wonderful poem, perhaps after reading the other reviews, I'll see that passage in a different light. I really liked this poem.
Thank you for sharing it,
Kay-Ren
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-06-30 16:36:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.37500
Edwin,
Sometimes there is. Which makes no sense. Either there is, or there isn't. Ok. There is. Only, it's inconsistent in its presence; it appears to sleep a lot here. You will have to wait for the full consistency. There's no other way.
In the meantime, love, whether there's justice or no.
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-06-20 03:08:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hi Edwin,
Another love poem! The simplicity of the title is making the thought
very lovely. I can't resist my want of reading this. I am always triggered
when it comes to love thing because I am currently in love as I have
mentioned in my previous critique. You started off with a catchy simile:
"The warm laughter pours out of our lives and settles like confetti
on the living room floor." It concretize the idea. Simplicity is reinforced
all over the but it makes this poem elaborate. Thanks for sharing, Edwin.
Looking forward to critiquing the rest of your submissions. You're such a prolific writer.
Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sydney a Walker On Date: 2004-06-16 16:53:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
I understand this poem. Understand the hurt that you once had that has now been replaced
by a new lover. Will it last is what I would ask myself, but then why bother. Just go for the
'gusto and the moment.My favorite line is the one about confetti. Loved it. Thanks for posting.
This is a short and pithy critique.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-06-16 13:31:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Edwin, another beautiful love poem from your pen. Excellent beginning imagery to attract the reader. In the central portion, you turn to the dark side [demons], but then quickly resolve that with the beauty of new love -waited for, for so long. Interesting and emotional reading.
and settles like confetti
on the living room floor. - [Great simile!]
I know you love me - [a little punctuation like a comma or semi-colon here?]
I have waited a long time
for this feeling.
Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed it.
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